“Imitation Is The Sincerest Form Of Flattery”

That sounds so innocent, even sweet. Someone likes something about you so much that they copy it. It should make you feel good to know that someone likes something about you so much that they’d want to duplicate that in their own life, right? I work with children/youth and when they love you they copy you; they copy your mannerisms, your words, your actions, your style of clothing and sadly, they even copy your bad habits. I’ve never been bothered when someone wanted to “copy-cat” me because I viewed it as the ultimate compliment.

In school, kids copy each other’s papers; they copy the style, mannerisms and phrases of peers and stars they look up to. I did my share of copying and of being copied. If you’d asked me then I would have said I wanted to be different from everyone else but none of us really wanted that. We wanted to be cool, we wanted to be accepted; we wanted to be what we perceived as beautiful.

We enter the work a day world and copy the methods of the successful people in our chosen trade. Add a little innovation now and then and this can be a very good strategy for attaining success in our business endeavors.

We marry, settle down and most of us do our best to copy the lifestyles of those with lives we strive to emulate. In my case my dream was to create a home for my family that would be a safe place to land. I wasn’t emulating what I’d seen but rather going for something completely different than that of the families I’d seen or been a part of.

When we have children we read books, watch videos, attend classes, consult the experts and mimic other parents in our quest to be the best parents possible. We did our share of all of these things but ended up settling on a parenting style that was uniquely ours.

When I gave birth to daughter #4 and gave her a name I was a little put off when four other parents I knew liked the name so much they decided to use the exact same name for their daughters including the middle name. I tried to accept it as a compliment but it was a little more than annoying to know we’d be raising our daughters in the same area with the same group of friends and they’d all have the same name. Thankfully two of them moved out of our area soon after so we only had to deal with three of the five. They became known as the “three Hannah’s” or just “the Hannah’s” in Sunday school, homeschool functions and various other activities they attended. It wasn't at all endearing or cute.

A couple times I’ve had the unsettling experience of having other parents copy my parenting style. Of course that never comes out well, since every family is different and what works well for one family can end up being a disaster for another. In the end it only frustrates both parent and child as they seek to be someone they’re not.

A few times someone has taken an idea I had and claimed credit for it. I generally let that slide because I figure they probably needed the feeling that getting credit for it supplied for them.  I find it impossible not to respect them a little less after it happens but generally I just let it go. 

Lately I’ve had the rather unsettling experience of discovering that the internet has made it possible for a “copy-cat” to carry their desire to be like others to a rather creepy extreme. If they’re skilled with a computer and just slightly to the wrong side of sanity they can actually “become” someone they’re not. It’s been a hard thing to accept and deal with. I guess it’s basically the same copy cat thing that’s happened in the past. Someone who doesn’t like themselves much tries to copy the lives of others around them who they think are better, right? It shouldn’t be a big surprise and maybe it should even be seen as a compliment but instead it’s like they’ve taken ‘creepy’ to a whole new level.

The ease at which it can now be done is more unsettling than ever before. This is a long way from showing up at a party with the same dress you knew I purchased. This goes beyond picking up on my catchphrases and making them a part of your everyday vocabulary. This is farther astray than copying my essay word for word and turning it in as yours. It’s stranger than getting your hair and makeup done to match mine. It’s even scarier than naming your children the same name I used for mine.  Or is it? Is it really that different to pretend to be someone you’re not on the internet versus doing it in “real life”?

Post A Comment