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Hell Explained By Chemistry Student

Added: Saturday, February 25th 2006 at 8:32am by WhiskeyTango
Related Tags: life, events
 
 
 

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a
University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The
answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,
which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats
when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving
into Hell and t he rate at which they are leaving. I
think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at
the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a
member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there is more than one of these religions and since
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls
are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks
loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day
in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account
the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only
Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being
which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting
"Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"




User Comments

O.o thats.....AMAZING!!!
Haha. But what if Hell isnt real? Maybe its a state of mind. And if so, couldn't it hold an infinite amount of people?
Yea, I guess you're right.
Good point![WINK]

Wayman[COOL]
You made the Digg! [THUMBUP]
Thanks for the info Mr. Ed! I'm not familiar with Digg so, I went there and looked around. I see that it's a great web site, but I couldn't see any of my stuff. Anyway, I appreciate the recognition.

Wayman [SMILE]
I don't know if you know this but this article has been digged at digg.com Quite an achievement and your blog is getting tons of exposure.[SMILE]
Hey Anthony, [SMILE]

No, I didn't know of any recognition that I'd received from Digg.com. In fact, I am not familiar with their web site. So, I just visited there and looked around. I can see that it is a terrific site, but I didn't see any of my stuff there. Anyway, I still appreciate the kind words about me, and the recognition. Thanks!

Wayman [COOL]
Hey there...I just came across this article and thought I should add some facts here. Hell is not a biblical teaching.

To quote from the paragraph where she says " I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving"...that would contradict Revelation 20:13 which says that "hell delivered up the dead which were in them". The reason why this contradicts is because the word translated as hell there (the Greek hades) actually means death, and not hell. It is a reference to the ressurection (Acts 24:15)

Hell comes from Germanic mythology, and originally meant 'to cover' and later was given as the name to the goddess of the underworld Hel (with one l) and also the underworld which she world. Three other words are translated as hell in the bible, and all three also have different meanings, the Hebrew sheol (grave) the Greek Gehenna (name of an actual place, a garbage dump) and Tartarus (from tartarizo meaning 'shivering cold', tartarus literally means 'a place of shivering cold')
Hello algo1959,

Thanks for your visit. Your comment is interesting. Hurry back! [SMILE]

WT[COOL]
Student should have received an F. That is not Boyle's Law. Boyle's Law only applies if temperatures remain constant. It should be Charles' Law. Not much of a chemestry student.[OHMY]
This answer seems to be a mock of the question in my opinion. Do souls have a mass? Ofcourse not. However the question of "Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?" clearly has no answer, and to write about Boyle's Law would be very dull and unimaginative. Im sure this was asked to see how students would respond to a question with no answer or logic. More of a test of imagination i would say, and i think this student did a great job. [THUMBUP]

... its obviously a joke. the question was a bonus and im sure the a had more to do with the student's actual work. so, being a joke, it is wonderful and meant to be enjoyed. neither the actual chemistry specifics or the political correctness are at all important. its funny. get over it. :)

hahaha wooow way to think outside the box through your pants, that was funny

I posted this on the board of a game I play and got the following response from one of my members:

 

Sergeant 2nd Apshai    Msg Player  - Report    04 Apr 2010, 03:01:22    Quote
I'd give the student an "F". His entire statement is based on the premise that souls have mass. Assuming souls have no mass, that opens up a whole other can or worms in deciding the status of Hell.


Sergeant 2nd Apshai    Msg Player  - Report    04 Apr 2010, 06:39:34    Quote
I would also challenge the statement on "Hell freezing over". No specifics were given as to which hell (biblical or the small city in Michigan of the same name) was intended. And as Hell, MI freezes over quite nicely during the winter months, her statement could merely mean she has a preference for snuggling under lots of sheets in cold winter days.

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