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Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey...
Another Thanksgiving has come and gone. I spent the afternoon with my mom, sister, brother-in-law, and his family and the evening and the day after with a small group of friends. One thing about this particular group of friends is that most of them are bachelors with no children, which is perfect since I don't like children anyway. Well, as luck would have it, one has two children and is in a relationship with a girl who has a child as well. I don't mind Dan's kids. They're of the age where they keep to themselves on their tablets or whatever technological device they have. My issue is with the four-year-old.
It started off with the four-year-old doing what normal four-year-olds do: running around, too full of energy, not taking his Adderall. One minute I'm sitting there, on the couch, on my phone, the next minute the little shit runs up and hugs me. I don't do hugs, either. I have never liked being touched and to have a kid run up and hug me just sent shivers down my spine. "Would you come get your spawn off of me?" I called.
Growing up, I was taught to avoid strangers. What made this kid think I'd enjoy a hug? I felt like I needed a bath. Sticky, nasty, gross little children running all around.
The rest of the night was pleasant once the child went away. We spent the night cooking, drinking, and smoking weed. I managed to grab the wrong bottle of bourbon, though. Jim Beam Red Stag is a shit drink and I couldn't even finish it. I just left it at my friend's for someone else to polish off if the mood strikes them. Weed is better than alcohol anyway. I don't care what argument you have, it's the truth. No hangover, no violent outbursts, no one gets loud and obnoxious. It was just a bunch of us stoned fuckers, sitting around, smoking, and giggling at shit that wasn't even funny.
So, in conclusion: hey, hey, hey, hey .... smoke weed every day.
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I love bourbon, but that particular bottle of bourbon tasted awful. I had a couple of beers, but couldn't drink more than a couple because I was so full from the food. I actually started smoking weed because it helps with my migraines that I get so often. It also helps to relieve my anxiety that I get often. I don't know why they just won't make the shit legal. Alcohol is much worse for you and that shit's everywhere. The only children I can be around are my friends Steve and Jessica. They have a 14-year-old and an 8-year-old that are pretty well behaved. The 8-year-old can be a little chatty sometimes, but she gets that from her dad. I just kind of nod my head and say "uh-huh" whenever she's talking. But yeah, overall, kids aren't for me. Glad I got a vasectomy so I don't have to worry about having any. |
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Well, good for you being responsible. Not too many are, and then they bring children into the world that they often don't want, don't need, and don't take care of. |
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Oh, and I am glad that despite the 4 year old, you ended up having a good thanksgiving. I did also, and I didn't even have the experience of having to deal with a 4 year old. Like you, give me a kid when it old enough to do its own thing and not bother me...otherwise, it needs to go its mother or father...not me. |
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Exactly. I don't know why people complain about the moody teenagers. At least they leave you alone and don't want to be bothered. |
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Exactly, at least most of the time. |
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Sounds like you have a few aberrations that could be sorted out by a good psychiatrist and a stint in a rehab center. |
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Beg pardon? |
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Well, you don't like kids, don't like to be hugged or touched by them and seem to be freaked out by their germs and sticky residue. Also you smoke weed, a drug that has mind altering properties. So it sounds to me like you might want to discuss your kid phobia with a good counselor and get off the weed. |
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Do you also tell people to stop enjoying the occasional glass of wine or beer? Or are you just against marijuana? And I don't see how my not liking children is a symptom of a psychiatric disorder, no more than some people aren't dog people and others aren't cat people. |
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I wonder if one of the adults put the klebriges kind up to it. Go give your Uncle Sandman a hug little Jóhnny and he'll give you a present, sort of thing. |
I don't have as much experience with weed as you do, not having done it except with friends a few times years ago. I don't think I could drink bourbon either. I don't like a strong alcohol taste. I tend to prefer "girly" sweet drinks.
But the one thing i agree with you is I don't want to be around children. Even when I worked, people would bring their children and/or grandchildren to visit and most of the others in the office would stop what they were doing, give the kid some money or attention. Meanwhile I would working at my desk and hoping under my breath "please don't let the little brat come over here and bother me.
I simply don't know what to DO with a child. I remember visiting my uncle's family and my cousin would be headed to work but drop her little daughter off for grannie to do something with, and she would walk in, being in hurry, and yell, "momma, Shannon is here, bye" and drop the little girl onto the bed right beside my up to then sleeping body.
My reaction was to scream "Cherry, your granddaughters here...come get her please"...
I still to this day tense up with a little child is running around "under my feet".