Ellen Degeneres virus. ....Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC

Monica Lewinsky virus .....Sucks all the memory out of your computer

Titanic virus .....Makes your whole computer go down

Disney virus .....Everything in the computer goes Goofy

Mike Tyson virus .....Quits after one byte

Lorena Bobbit virus .....Turns your hard disk into a 3.5-inch floppy

Tim Allen virus .....Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive

Woody Allen virus. ....Bypasses the motherboard and turns on daughter card

Tonya Harding virus .....Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons

Joey Buttafuoco virus .....Only attacks minor files

X-files virus .....All your Icons start shape-shifting

Ronald Reagan virus .....Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored

Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus .....Deletes your old files

Elvis virus: Your compute r gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at
shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

Federal bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of
little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which
claim to be the most important part of the computer.

Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

Gallup virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38
percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5
percent margin of error).

Government economist virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

Jerry Brown virus: Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.

Madonna virus: If your computer gets this virus, lock up your dog!

Mario Cuomo virus: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.

Michael Jackson virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.

New World Order virus: probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

Ollie North virus: Turns your printer into a document shredder.

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.

Pat Buchanan virus: Shifts all your output to the extreme right of your screen.

Paul Revere virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:.

Paul Tsongas virus: Pops up on December 25 and says, "I'm not Santa Claus."

PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.

Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism".

Richard Nixon virus: Also known as the "Tricky Dick Virus", you can wipe it out but it always makes a comeback.

Right To Life virus: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless
of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to
first see a counselor about possible alternatives.

Ross Perot virus: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits.

Ted Kennedy virus: Crashes your computer but denies it ever happened.

Ted Turner virus: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

Republican Party virus: Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort" from the "Abort, Retry, Fail" message.

Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

UK Parliament virus: Splits the screen into two with a message in each half blaming other side for the state of the system.

Warren Commission virus: Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.

posted on Feb 16, 2012 2:56 PM (CST)

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