Now that mail use is dropping and the post office is losing even more money, it's time for some ideas on how to raise revenue.   

CREDIT CARDS:

One thought is for everyone to take those credit card offers they get in the mail, and return most of the paper in the prepaid return envelope.  This would raise revenue, and help thank the credit card companies for flooding our mailboxes with junk.  I started doing this a few years ago, and will patriotically continue this practice.

RELATIVE RELOCATIONS:

The next major idea would be to take that nasty old mother in law you might have in the family, drive her down to the post office, stick a few stamps on her forehead, and have the post office send her away.  Far away.......far, far away.  This might be a popular and profitable enterprise, and could be expanded to include fathers in law, sons in law, daughters in law, ex husbands and ex wives, bosses, etc. 

Taking the idea a step further, you could pay the post office to deliver someone else's unwanted MIL, FIL, ex wife/husband, etc, to your boss, if he's a real jerk.  That way the post office collects from two people, not just one.

BREAK UPS:

Since breaking up via texting or email is not considered classy, and doing it in person is so agonizing, and florists are pretty expensive, maybe it's time for the post office to offer "Dear John" and "Dear Jill" letters.  For 9.95 they'd deliver a breakup letter in a fancy envelope, with perhaps a Hershey's Kiss to soothe the broken heart.

I'm sure with some more serious thought, other revenue ideas would be produced, and we can save this great American institution.

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