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The Doctor and the Musician: A Dialogue
As always, I always see the religion vs. science posts. I'm drawn to them the way people are drawn to the sight of blood on a highway as they rubberneck their way past a particularly bad auto accident. So you know what THAT means....REMIX!
I wrote this years ago after rubbernecking my way through several irritating-in-their-mind-numbingly-subjective posts about creationism. There was blood all OVER the highway, brothers and sisters. Enjoy.
A doctor walked up to a musician. The following conversation ensued.
Doctor: There is a God.
Musician: There is? Cool! Where is it?
Doctor: Well, God is in heaven.
Musician: Where is heaven?
Doctor: No one knows for sure. Not here? Or maybe here? No one knows.
Musician: Hmm, ok. Well when did God get there?
Doctor: No one knows. Now? Yesterday? Forever? Honestly I don't even know what time is.
Musician: Wow, heavy dude. Ok, how did God become existing?
Doctor: He was born or He always existed or he doesn't exist in that sense or he's all around us all the time. He is part of a universal bipolarity which indicates a counterpart of equal strength that some call the Devil.
Musician: Neat. Can I have some?
Doctor: Some what?
Musician: Some of what you're on, man. Haha, just kidding. Ok, what is God?
Doctor: A thought. An entity. A man, like us. A woman like her {points at female passerby}. An animal. A ghost. Bah. No one really knows.
Musician: Ok, just why is there a God?
Doctor: To love us, to guide us, to torture us, to make us question, to give us reason to NOT question, to judge us, to comfort us, to disturb us, to inspire us, to perplex us, to...shoot. You know, I have no idea honestly.
Musician: Let me get this straight. You say there's a God, but you don't know really where it is, what it is, how it is, why it is, or when it is. Is that correct?
Doctor: Yes, that is correct.
Musician: Then how can you claim that there is one for sure?
Doctor: I don't know. I just say there is.
Musician: Ok, well what if I say there isn't? What if I just disagree with you?
Doctor: Don't disagree.
Musician: Why not?
Doctor: Because God is this thing that you believe in. It's not something you see or smell or touch or hear. It's in your heart, not your senses.
Musician: My heart can't think. It's a muscle. I'm pretty sure I can prove that unlike some of the things you're asking me to believe without proof. So don't you mean God is something I feel with my brain by thinking about it?
Doctor: Yes, sure. God is all in your head.
Musician: Now we agree.
User Comments
Isn't that funny?! I've never bought a lottery ticket. Never! There is a scientific study here waiting to happen! :) |
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Yeah, it sucks, doesn't it. My eyes are getting really bad, and I have trouble spotting my typos because there's no font-size choice when crafting a reply. Plah. |
Nice parody except for one overlooked fact. My dialogue follows Ockham's Razor. Yours does not. Very much does not. But it was cool, anyway :) Thanks for the reply :) |
By the way, is there another theory going that should be in school? Not...not Intelligent Design? Yes, by all means teach that, too, along with my personal favorite - ah well heck, you can read the letter for yourself. http://www.venganza.org/about/open-letter/
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Yup, but I can already see where it's going. Remember me saying (long ago) that sometimes I envy the mentally retarded because they always seem so happy? Perhaps ignorance is bliss after all. |
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LoL, I remember this particular blood bath, it was wonderful.
I was watching some show the other day, (Most Evil, perhaps) where they were studying the brains of sociopathic cult leaders. The discovered that the ones who claimed to have been inspired by God all suffered from frontal lobe epilepsy.
Armed with that information, they set out to recreate that 'supernatural touch of God' in volunteers by subjecting that part of the brain to extra electrical stimulation, and by golly...it worked. Every test subject described the sensation of being in touch with some entity outside themselves, and having recieved information, wisdom, or instructions from that entity.
What is God?
An electrical short circuit in the brain.