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I don't know what to say...

Added: Thursday, May 16th 2019 at 9:47am by maggiesnextphase
 
 
 

I found out last night that a cousin of mine passed away.   She was only a couple of years older than I am.  Cause of death... complications of rheumatoid arthritis.   I didn't know this condition could be fatal. 

Because of her death, I learned that she and her husband had been struggling financially, and had lost their home.  I'm not sure if their situation affected her ability to manage her arthritis, but I suspect it was a factor.

They were living with one of their children when it happened.   Her grand daughter was the one to discover something was amiss when she couldn't wake her up. 

Ironically, when the call came, I was having a 'messenger' conversation with an old friend whose wife recently died unexpectedly.  She was 8 years younger than him, so he never expected her to go first.  They still had a kid in school!  

Besides the devastating loss of his sweetheart, it's been a Financial nightmare.  She made more money than him, so without her, their mtg payments are hard to meet. 

Her mom and disabled brother live in the home as well as the two kids.  They help as much as they can, but he says he's still going in the red every month.  If He doesn't cover it, everybody is in jeopardy of losing everything. 

I know that these, and other similar stories are playing out all over the country.   As the title says, I don't know what to say... or do.  I just had to put this somewhere. 

 

 

User Comments

Maggie, first off I'm so sorry for your loss.  Losing a relative is bad enough and now your friends wife, goodness!  You have my deepest sympathy.  For all the struggles that they all are going through, I guess that age old saying, rings so true, "if you think you have it bad, someone else is having it much worse".  I'll say prayers for both families. ♡

Thank you for those prayers!  And boy is that ever true!

I sure understand. At my age (62) I never expected to have financial strain or these knees that make it hard to get around easily. Also family and friends passing on is something I’ll never adjust to. I’m sorry for your loss of family and I know your heart hurts for the challenges your loved ones face each day. Thankfully we have hope and know someday this all will be past and we won’t have any more sorrows or sadness but for now it’s HARD.

I know you have had to deal with these issues on a very personal level.   So I am really impressed with your positive attitude.  I have been thinking about that a lot.   It's in this life that we struggle.  

 

 

Medications for autoimmune diseases like rheumatoid arthritis, without insurance can cost $5000 to $6000 a month so the copays with assistance are quite high. They work by reducing the body's immune system so that the person with the disease can become susceptible to every virus or bacterial infection around. Not only can a sufferer of an autoimmune disease die from a simple thing like strep throat, they're bankrupt when it happens. I have ankylosing spondylitis, the copays for the 2 meds I need amount to one third of my monthly income. I don't take them for that reason and while I might live longer, I have to bear the pain. 

Sorry for your loss and doubly so because I fully understand the system that caused your cousins death.

It's terrible, that you and a whole lot of other people can't afford their medications.  I'm so sorry you have to suffer pain because of it.

I guess it's epidemic, this dying business. My mother's boyfriend's sister died last night. 

I'm so sorry for their loss. 

hugs

Thank you 

I didn't know either a person could die from that Maggie. Must of been something else that went along with it. Bro. Doc

I don't have any more details, but I think it was something she may have been more susceptible to because of her medication. 

That could have been. Bro. Doc

Sorry for the loss.

It's sad that people are having to suffer by not being able to afford a roof over their head and cover health needs.

It is!  I think that adds to the tragedy of it.

I am sorry for your loss Maggie, and find it so sad, that people are having trouble paying a mortgage on top of the loss of a loved one. I also find it totally disgusting that anyone should have to pay absorbent fees for drugs to stay alive, something needs to change.

I agree!  President Trump supposedly did something to curb the profits of drug companies who were taking advantage of their ability to set the price at whatever they want on drugs that cost pennies to produce.  We'll see if it flies.

Well I sure hope it does.

Me too!

Sad to hear of your family loss.. yes RA affects the heart besides the joints so it could cause death.. Life is tough specially for handicaped and elderly, I know how lucky I am with my family but not everyone is....

Thanks for that info on RA.  Sometimes even loving families miss the clues. 

The meds themselves can cause death by side effect, liver problems are common with the biologics, and GI bleeds are common with prolonged use of NSAIDs.  Plus there's that reduced immunity from steroids and biologics alike. 

Hello, my legbones are dying from the inside out due to the prednisone I often had injected into my knees to ease the pain of RA.  This won't kill me, but it sure makes life miserable sometimes.

R/A is a large umbrella, it consists of many autoimmune disorders from AS like Sherry has, to Lupus, which can kill a person pretty young.

I am sorry for your loss, maggie.  Were the two of you close?

Thanks for the info.  We were not that close, as I tended to pal around with the sister that was the same age as me.   I do love this family, though, and hate to see them have to bear this loss.  My aunt, who is quite elderly, is taking it pretty hard. 

{#black_sad.gif}   I'm sorry.

Me too. 

So very sorry for your loss. 

I hope they are able to find a way to adjust better to the struggle of income etc... It's a hard thing. It's enough to have to deal with the loss or loved one let alone have to deal with the other stress. 

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