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Living with a Slob

Added: Monday, October 9th 2006 at 7:59pm by lunarhunk
Related Tags: relationship, events, life
 
 
 


One of the most challenging things about sharing your home with someone is learning to live with their quirks. That becomes even more of a challenge when one of you is a slob while the other is a neatnik. I know...you are thinking of The Odd Couple, but part of what made that play/show so interesting was that it was routed in reality.

That is the case that I am faced with at home. I am not a super clean-freak, but I do like to keep things organized so I can find them pretty easily. Unfortunately, that is not something that is shared by with Ray. I am not sure what it is about him, but he has trouble with taking one step to the right to throw something away.

It drives me crazy! I feel like I am constantly running around and picking things up. It is something that I have learned to accept in life. Otherwise, I would have gone insane a long time ago. In fact, I told him that he is responsible to do all of the housekeep since I refuse to spend an hour in each room neatening up before I can even start to dust and vacuum.

I have never understood how people can live like that, though!

User Comments

Oh, oh--good thing you don't live with me! (But I 'hide' things very well.)[LOL]
[LOL] Of course, at least you hide the ... [LOL]
AJ
Hi AJ... I can just see you running around picking up and grumbling all the while. I used to be a neatnik, too. But with age and not feeling well... I find myself living in a heap of clutter. All of the time, I am thinking, "This is not me!" But.... sadly, at this time in life.... it is me. I am in desperate need of a housekeeper, but in the Oregon Outback it is very difficult to come by responsible and reliable help. Maybe a housekeeper is the answer for the two of you. (((hugs))) Annie :o)[SMILE][HEART][HEART]
Not only is their grumbling, but slamming of cupboard doors can often be heard. Ray is 10 years older. Maybe that is why he is a little more relaxed about being neat. I had not considered that. Thanks!
AJ
Must be the librarian in you that likes to have things organized like the Dewey Decimal System. We want to be able to get our hands on things without too much ado. Unlike most librarians I know, I'm a weeder. I love to go through and get rid of the garbage. So I can totally understand why it would irk you have someone around who won't throw trash away.
[LOL] ... I won't even tell everyone what I have done with the DVD & video collection.
AJ
be thankful you don't have kids[HEART][LOL] They're really SLOBS!
[LOL] ... True, but they are cute and don't know any better!
AJ
I can feel what u mean. I also have difficulties with things throwing away.... [SMILE]
At least you won't throw things that you value away!
AJ
AJ, I'm on the flip side~ I like things neat and in there place. My husband's biggest peeve is that he can't stand drawers, doors cabinets etc. left open. That doesn't mean he will go wash a basket of clothes, he just doesn't want to see them so he throws them in his closet and closes the door. I can come home and think " Wow, you've really been working in here" only to find he "straightened" things up for me to pull out later....[LOL][LOL][HEART]
[LOL]... I like that outlook!
AJ
Hi Cindy - I have a dear friend whose husband is obsessive about neatness. His socks are arranged in the sock drawer by color with little dividers inbetween. The shirts in his closet all face the same direction and are catergorized by color. If there is a tie to go with the shirt, it hangs along with the shirt. His shoes are arranged by color and also all point the same direction with the left and right shoe always in their correct position. Each night he decides what he will wear the next day and lays everything out in his bathroom.

The last time I visited them, we were watching tv together and he decided that the lighting was wrong and so he went around turning out some lights and turning on others. My friend really got mad about it and told him there was nothing wrong with the lighting before he made all of the switches. Of course, he insisted that his choices were the right ones.

Amazingly, he runs his business with the same perfectionistic obsession and he is very very successful. Sooo... for some things... it works.[ROLLEYES][ROLLEYES]
learn to live with it,this is minmal,could be something worse,druggie,booze etc.If he feels good,don't henpeck him.on the other hand could be worse if you are very organize this can become boring to him,so suck it up[LOL][LOL][LOL]
[LOL] ... I have definitely learned to accpet that it is a part of my life now.
AJ
p.s. AJ.... see my response to Cindy (mentalheathrn) below for true neatness.[WINK][LOL][LOL]
[LOL] ... I am not nearly as bad as that! I do have to admit to alphabitizing the canned goods and stuff, but I could obviously be much worse.
AJ
Oh My God.... alphabitizing your canned goods!!!!! Now... I am starting to feel sorry for Ray.[WINK][LOL][LOL]
[LOL]
I'm one of those very organized slobs. I may have lots of piles but I can find everything in them![SMILE]
I think I could handle that easily! That is its own form of organization.
AJ
There'a a place for everything and I want everything in it's place, my days off are spent looking for the things that belong in one place but are not there. No wonder I am exhausted. [LOL][THUMBUP]
Someone with a similar view to me ... woohoo!
AJ

smile!  we don't live in loneliness, just intolerance of our own reactions to others that we don't have a power over.... AND, wait until you actually come to that acceptance!! lol lol!

I was a single mother & at their younger ages - I did well to keeping up of the house,... than of course came the overload,... house, lack of funds... need of enrichment support of their friends; our churches; the other friends that each brough over; the one million demands of the damned schools; keeping up with not the Jones' but the demand of risisng costs; 3 jobs, (governments and financial fiscal presents); like providing food on top of the $200 year books, not counting class trips, shoes n clothes e'vry 6mos, and more fundraisers that are mandatory... or lists of writing letters to contest the mandatory uniforms that strtch the budget.... than to get home and OMG,... do I have time to take a bath or eat after the dinnner making, cleaning up and washing, not counting all of the bathrooms to keeps neat, stocked and lot of household maintenance, after the car care that never ends.... and oh, did I get to sleep tonight, at 3am and still a million things to do,.... hmm does anyone know what mom's have to do?  How many siblings did you have? 

 I am grateful to hear how neat people deal with messes.  Now after all that.... My BF saves twenty empty cans and bottle in HIS 4 runner before dumping at his moms who walks around every morning at 4am to collect other peoples trash!! (recycle bottle and can)  And he is too lazy to clean, except his precious hobby shit, bow and arrows amde, and gun polished, but not the sink!!

I only have one younger brother.  We were definitely a small family.
Part of the challenge is that I suspect I have a mild case of OCD.  I try to sit back and not let things bother me as much as they could, but sometimes it still drives me nuts!
AJ

hehehe, my youngest sister was the greatest slob factor in my first 12 yrs, than she stole all of my expensive stuff the next 12, and now she is OCD with building an empire of houses along the 500K limit that is only 500 sq ft living spaces,... and still renovating...  Loooong story short, OCD, is, in a matter of fact of how I used to be, till I surrendered having no control over my own self-care and cracked up over being unmanageable.   Of course --I lost every then. Cry My sanity, my happiness, my skills to work, socialize and be productively in progression.  OOPS!  what a major slip,.... so be careful what you focus on, just your areas belong in your list..., draw a line to where you never touch and not look at it anymore, like its inisible, and meditate as to making more peace inside your own mind.  POWERFUL!  This is where I must stand, (sit, lay and sleep) on.Laughingml

All of my l life I have managed to live with slobs. I have given up to the rule of the "lowest common denominator," which means simply that the home will reflect the habits of the most slovenly person in it.

This is why:

1) The slob will not lift a finger until the house is filthy. To their perspective, there is no need.

2) The slob is impervious to the extra hours of the person who cares about the home. They will never see that you are running faster and faster and faster to try to keep up with the slob. The slob will not notice that they are doing less and less while you go faster and faster.

Personally, I hate it. It's not fair. It's disgusting, and a sign that these people were reared by inattentive and neglectful parents.

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