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lonefields711

 

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Divorcing My Children

Added: Tuesday, March 14th 2006 at 6:43pm by lonefields711
Related Tags: events, life
 
 
 

Horrid horrid horrid day. My two daughters arrived yesterday, first time they've come to see me since Katrina.
My oldest daughter was driving a $50,000 Escalade, and said she missed her $5.00 a cup Starbucks. Not once for weeks after Katrina did they phone to see if I was alive or had bread to eat or water to drink.
I live a quiet life, I hate dissention and quarreling, but my daughter seemed hell bent on picking fights with me, her voice shrill, hostile, downright nasty.
Any mention of Katrina brought instant reaction, NOT to mention it, and that I was obsessed with it. I don't think so. I just wanted them to ask me about what I had experienced. It was a life altering time and I needed to talk to them. It's like my neighbor Kitty said "If you didn't go through it, you can never understand."
One daughter cleaned out a closet and filled eight garbage bags with nice clothes. I said let's take them to one of the churches or groups on the Coast so someone can use them, and so my grand daughter could see for herself what it is like there, so even when she's 80 she can say she saw it. They said they had seen it all on CNN and didn't need to go there to look at it.
There were so many things I was hoping they'd help me with, but less than 24 hrs after arrival we had a big squabble and they left. If there were lawyers to legally divorce yourself from your children, I would be at the office tomorrrow.
My big sin according to my children was that I worked all the time when they were growing up, and was never there for them. I had too much pride to go on welfare, they had a deadbeat dad who never paid a dime of child support, so I worked all the time to keep a roof over our head and food in our bellies and clothes on our backs.
I don't know what I could have done diferently if I could go back and do it all again. What's he answer? Somebody tell me, please!



User Comments

[SAD]I'm sorry, that's tough[HEART]
You did what you had to do. What they don't realize is you chose to stay and take care of them when you could have walked away. They are the ones with the problem, not you. They are ungrateful. I am the youngest of 4 raised by a single mother who, like you, was too proud to go on welfare. I look at what she went through with awe at her strength and courage, not with selfish thoughts about how she didn't spend enough time with me. BAH! Too bad you can't divorce them! *hugs*
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Just isn't right. [SAD] I am the youngest of four kids and I'm the only one of my siblings that takes care of my Mom. I'm not complaining I'm just saying that the other three don't even care. Sad, sad way they are.[SAD][THUMBDOWN]

Jenn
I...uh...wow...I can't imagine being like that with my family. My mother grew up during the Japanese occupation in Guam and my family there deal with typhoons all the time. I don't understand how anyone could be that way after almost loosing their family. So sorry.
Kids make up their own belief systems Sue and from their perspective it sounds like they are angry and need to be selfish to their own needs. I don't know how old they are but if you give yourself some time to get on with your life again hopefully they will eventually come around. A good thing is not to get caught up in their need to create intensity around you. If you stay out of that they will have to find someone else to project all their crappyness onto. Get on with your own life is the key and understand that their rejection of you is tied up with anger about Dad, growing up with you at work and god knows what else. Not all children from this type of growing up scenario treat their mothers poorly. They have decided to do that all by themselves. You can feel guilty if you wish but that would be stepping into what they wish you to feel. Stuff them, be a parent from a far and trust that they will choose to get through their issues like anyone else would (or would not) in their life. Filing for divorce seems radical when there are other ways to let them go. Kenneth
Many thanks to everyone who responded. It has meant a lot to me.
Sue, lonefields711
hey preacherman, are you really only 14 years old? Sounds like you could all benefit from some counselling if what you say is true. Maybe judge Judy would be able to sort you lot out because it seems being in the right is everyones aim. Shzeesh.
The anger management clinic wants their money back. You're giving them a bad name!

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