Ahh its been a really long time since I was on, as a friend of mine pointed out and now I feel guilty! LOL.

Alright, so hmm... so many things have happened, I guess I'll start when my costco job was over.
Things are crazy and nuts!!

Well still have problems with the in laws, the in law sisters and soon to be third... SIGH.
Still getting glared at, getting the cold shoulder, silent treatment, snarky snide comments, rude behavior, ugh you name it! Lizzie and Stephanie are so very disrespectful!! And to their mom! Oh my word. THose girls need to be taken over the knee and SPANKED! I am sooooo very thankful I was disaplined while growing up, even if at times it was harsher then it should of been, I am very very blessed they taught me to respect other people and to know how to act. Isn't that so sad that I at 18 am already so thankful and grateful for that?? Just goes to show how the world is coming about!
Lizzie and Steph talk back to there mom, they talk in that tone of use that says "YOur stupid so just shut the heck up!! I know whats right!!". GAHHH!!! I wanna paddle their butts! And they do that to me! GRR! I really hate when people treat me like trash and expect me to treat them like princesses. Its like... "EXCUSE YOU!?".

Savanna has been making snide remarks about my mom and I and how my wedding was handled. She thinks she has a Clue to what was going on, and so she thinks its her right to judge me about it. Any chance she gets she makes a snide comment. ANY chance she gets to make me look stupid, she takes it. She takes every jab she can.
About a month and half ago, Ben finally purposed to her, so now she's engaged, and she is currently doing her best to ignore talking about her wedding with me AT ALL.
She talks about it with other people, Right in front of my face, effectively cutting me out of the conversation. It's like... Helloo! RUDE!
I think she's afraid I'll do to her, what she did to me in my wedding.
And the funny thing is, I haven't done anything!!! To her or to Lizzie and Steph!!
I have done my best to talk to them, to get to know them, to let them get to know me, but NOTHING. They don't care, they've judged me and Im a devil to them.
I haven't started being mean to them or anything but I have stopped trying to be friends with them.

My mother in law wants to send a email out to all four of us girls and tell us to forgive each other and get past it. And if she does, I'm just going to do my best to be respectful but tell her, it isn't about me, I have done nothing wrong, and I have do my very best to keep trying to be friends with them despite there rude horrible mean hateful behavior toward me.
Isn't there that verse or reference in the bible that says you have to forgive like 389 times or something?? I Totally understand that now!!!
I think I have forgiven them and again I try to be friends with them but once again I get a vitural slap and i'm upset all over again. So I've stopped trying to be friends.
Maybe it's dumb of me, but you can only kick a dog so much before it becomes vicious.

My cousin, my best friend, someone who I've called my sister, went to college in october and she's different... She went to a christian college. I feel as if I've lost her. She's no longer supporting, she doesn't cast a listening ear anymore... Its like all she cares about is her friends at college and her problems... I feel left out, she says she can't talk a lot across text because she's with her friends..her family. I was all like ouch. The times Ive tried to talk to her, she's always busy so I stopped texting her. We haven't talked in days, and then last night we did, about her problems... SIGH. I hope I at least helped her. :( I feel like every time I get to be really super close friends with people, they take a different path and change and I'm still on the same path and hardly any different then I was before.... I realized I have faults of course, and I'm trying to do my best to see them. But am I such a terrible person I keep losing friends? People I consider family? Am Iso bad I must keep enduring this pain over and over of losing ppl I love? What is wrong with me?
Why must I accept people with ALL their faults but I have any of my own I'm cast aside like I'm some broken doll!

Do you remember Cokes? Well... She's back in my life now. She's having a tough go at life right now too. She's coming up tomorrow and staying till Thursday. I'm both excited and very nervous. I'm afriad she's going to try and hit on my husband, or cause something that isn't there. I'm afraid things will go wrong... but at the same time I am excited and I hope that this visit goes well and that we can be friends again. Not best friends but just friends again. I hate feeling like a failure, I mean I know there is times you just cant do anything in the friendship to make a difference but that doenst stop me from feeling like I could have done something more, you know?

Well there's the update on people in my life! LOL!

So Jonathon hasn't had a job in four months, and we searched and searched and applied and applied and applied and applied!! and he just finally got this job last week! I am so excited and thankful!!
In those four months, we've struggled to make ends meet and we got on unemploment but then we didn't report a couple checks he made from one day jobs and we didn't realize YOU HAVE TO REPORT EVERYTHING!! So they kicked us off enunployment and we wrote a letter trying to work it out, and explain that we didn't realize we had to do this and if they would basically give us a second chance.
THey fined us for over a thousand dollars... We just can't afford to pay it :( I mean if we could we wouldn't have been on enunployment in the first place... I pray that we can get this worked out!!
In the meantime our bills are biling up, rent is due and nothing is getting paid because we don't have a source of income anymore.
We finally went to the pastor at our church and asked for help. They gave us the money to pay our rent... God has blessed us and even in all the worries and troubles, he has taken care of us completely. I feel so blessed.
It gets hard at times, wondering if we'll have power the next day, wondering if we'll get kicked out of our house, if we'll loose everything, and there are times i've cried in silence, praying for help.
I do my best to be strong for my husband, to let him know that even if we did loose everything, we'd still have each other and our love. That maybe God wanted us on a different path and that was his way of showing us.
But God is good, he blessed Jonathon with a job!!! I think we will be able to meet all our bills! We may have to extend the payment a little but it'll be okay!

In the last Five months I have had this lingering sickness. Not like a cold sickness though.. I've had stomach pain on and off, headaches, dizziness, nausa... and no matter what I did it just wouldn't go away. (No Im not pregnant, yes I am sure ;)
Well the last month it started flaring up really bad, and I had horrible stomach pain, I was throwing up for most of the night one night, had this ongoing massive poudning headache for a week and a half that Did not go away no matter what I did.
So I finally went to the doctor and she checked me over and she said I was most likely reacting to the birth control pills I take. GO figure!! :P My body is so sentivie to everything else, why not pills too? So next week I am going to get off them and try something else to see if that will help. I would really love to be able to stand without feeling the edge of dizziness sitting in the background!!
I am on mediciad, and I need new glasses so I'm trying to find a eye doc that takes the card.
Mom and I think my neck might be out which might be causing the fierce headache so now I also need to check for a chiropractor that takes the card too!!
And turns out I might need to go see a foot doctor for lifts because I'm so flat footed.
I don't know about the rest of you, but I sound like a walking pile of bones that's about to fall apart any second! LOL

OOH! and Tomorrow I'm riding up to Boise with three old ladies to go get Heather, and one of them is my Grandma in law and I asked her if I could ride along, right? Well she's perfectly fine with it, but because she wasn't driving, I needed to ask her friend to make sure it was okay, well I call her up, (her name is Marg) And after asking, she says very bruqseley, "How many times is this going to happen? IT better not happen more then once. Where will you be sitting while we sing? I'm a HardAss, this better not happen more then once." So now its Suffiecent to say, I'm a bit scared about the trip >.< PRay for me life!!

My husband and I are doing wonderful <3 We do our best to be there for each other, always. and he's so wonderful helping me deal through his sisters and soon to be third. If we have something to talk about, we do our best to sit down and talk it through, without all the anger and everything. I truely do love Him <3 He is really amazing! He's so happy to be working again and providing for me. He is a great husband  <3
My favorite moment of the day when I'm with him, is at night, when the lights are off, and he's cuddling me and we just get to Talk about things! Sometimes it ends up in a giggling match! :D

God is truly amazing. He has been providing for us through this all and I just pray that we see the path that he wants us to be one.

Valentines Day is coming up! :D Were going to go to a dinner couples thingy at a friends house, and might go to the church event there hosting for valentines but He might take me out to dinner!! So I'm trying to find the best restuarant thats romantic and CHEAP!! LOL!

WHEW!! So that's how my life has been going!!

Signing off!
  Emma ;)

P.S.
I posted some of my wedding pictures!

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