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Extinct Snack Foods

Added: Tuesday, September 26th 2006 at 11:03pm by jungleray
Related Tags: drinks, food

Suddenly, as I was driving down 95 to Richmond for a gig yesterday, I had an insatiable craving for a snack food... that no longer existed.


Does anyone remember these? They were these little crackers shaped like onions, bell peppers and cucumbers, with real dried vegetables in them. As a kid I was so addicted I would eat them down to the dust at the bottom of the box.

That got me thinking about all the snack foods of yore that have gone the way of the 8-track and terry gym shorts with white piping... oh wait, people are wearing those again. Although I really wish they wouldn't. Those can stay right back there in the 70's where I left them. Especially the icky see-through pastel ones.

Here's a list of beloved junk foods that are no more. Let us all sing a snack requiem.

- Laughing Cow cheese cubes (these were my rewards as a little kid)

- Funny Face Fruit Punches. This was an era of increasing acceptance of alternative lifestyles. As you can see, Mr. Tutti Frutti is definitely gay.

And the With-It Watermelon dude, quite the hippy.

- Dutch Apple and Boysenberry flavored Dannon yogurts... in a waxed cardboard cup. Remember those? Oh wait... I'm really showing my age now. Not a junk food, but definitely extinct... or mutated beyond recognition.

- Dinky Donuts cereal. We used to eat these a lot, once my mom gave up the junky cereal battle.

- Flaky Puffs (my mom never let me buy them!)

- Cookie Crisp (you can't have cookies for breakfast... but you can have these).

- Frankenberry, Count Chocula, and Boo-Berry cereals

- While we're on the cereal tip... remember WAFFLE-O's, which enjoyed a brief 15 minutes of fame in the early 1980's? I was a big fan...

- Ding-Dongs. Do these still exist?

- Sky bars. Does anyone remember the urban legend about the girl who found an ant in one and sued the company for "a million dollars", which was an unspeakable sum in the relatively libel-free 70's?

- And what about Pop Rocks? You know, the story about Mikey, the Life Cereal boy, dying from a fatal combination of Pop Rocks and Coke... totally a myth. I don't even know if anyone died that way.

- Lik-M-Aid Fun Dip. Those little sticks of pure dextrose, dipped in crystalline sugars, artificial colors and malic acid. Yummy.

- Sweet-tart pops, and Charms Blow-Pops. Maybe these still exist, but I haven't seen them. Did anyone else hate the bubble gum in a Charms Blow-Pop as much as I did? It was nasty. Substandard.

- Willy Wonka's Bottle Caps and Dinosaur Eggs. I remember I used to keep a Dinosaur Egg around, licking it periodically, putting it down on the furniture and getting yelled at to pick it up... until it just got all hairy and dusty and gross. I was determined to reach the powdery interior.

- Toffifay. The world's weirdest, most contrived candy. Kind of like a white trash lottery winner who goes to the Ritz and buys poodle jewelry. It's not bad enough to bury a hazelnut in caramel and stick it in a candy cup, but you have to put this weird wanna-be chocolate drizzle on the top.

- And for that matter... why can you go to an ice cream parlor and buy Heath bar mix-ins, but you can't find Heath bars sold individually?

- Rolos. These were great. You can roll a Rolo to your friends...

- Sugar Babies, Sugar Daddies, Sugar Mommies... do any of these exist anymore? What were Sugar Babies made of, anyway? When I was in kindergarten, someone gave me this huge Sugar Daddy pop and I ended up with sore teeth.

- Cadbury's Creme Eggs. I've seen these here are there... far and few between though.

- My personal favorite as a kid: Kinder Ei. These were from Germany, but they started selling them in America in gourmet stores. They were these realistic-sized eggs that were milk chocolate on the outside, white chocolate on the inside, and a real toy in the egg! Usually something with totally tiny, swallowable parts that American parents and authorities would have freaked out about.

- A strange question. Why did canned frosting in the 70's taste so much more awful than it does today? It's just as bad for you as it ever was, but back then, it really TASTED canned.

- Mint milkshakes at McDonald's... they used to do this every March for St. Patrick's day, at least in the Boston area where everything seems to turn green for a month, including the bagels and beer. As a mint-loving child, this was just fine with me.

- Blueberry flavored Hubba Bubba... my favorite as a kid. Now why did it change from blue to purple as I chewed it for a long time? One of the seven mysteries of the universe, right next to the fall of the jiva...

- Orange circus peanuts... I was bribed with these when all else failed for my potty training... they worked; I can still taste them.

- Ketchup-flavored Snyder of Hanover potato chips. In college (ok, the 90's...) these were my favorite junk food snack, although I was already into health food by then. I also liked the Dill Pickle and Lawry's Seasoning Salt flavored ones.

You know, I just remembered my first TV commercial today. It was one of those "Rolaids spells Relief" commercials. I was about five years old and remember thinking, "No it doesn't!"... LOL...

User Comments

I think Ding Dongs still exist.[SMILE]
They do. So do Sweet-Tarts.
PEZ is hard to find. They are like smarties.
I see Pez everywhere. At least the dispensers... but you're right, the candies are hard to find, because everyone is so busy collecting the darn things!
I know the regular ones do, but what about the lollipops? I think they are extinct!
I think Sugar Babies and Daddy are seasonable around Halloween and at old, novelty, newstand shops. Never heard of Sugar Mommies. What are they?[HUH]
Sugar Mamas... they were like small sugar daddies, I think.
The trick or treat Sugar Daddys were smaller than the reg. Sugar Daddys.[GLARE]
Ketchup-flavored Snyder of Hanover potato chips? Never got to Ohio. Must have been a test market product.[THUMBUP]
Love the mustard ones!
Really. Mustard ones. [THUMBUP]
This was in Brooklyn not Ohio...

I didn't like the honey mustard ones. Ketchup it was all the way for me.
JonDude is from Ohio. How did you get a hold of those mustard ones JonDude?[HUH]
Kinder eggs still exist, Lik-a-mad exists throughout the third world, laughing cow cheese still exists as La Vache qui rit here in the freezing north. what I miss is Space Bars ice cream.
great post. [THUMBUP]
I didn't actually research to see if these things existed anymore... I didn't have the time. I just based this on what I actually see in the stores! [SMILE]
Sugar daddies were so great! That was our treat when we visited our mamaw during the summer. [LOL]
Cookie Crisp is still ehre and laughing cow....Toffifay is too at walmart....I could swear I ate vegtable thins last year. Next time I go to the store i am gonna have a look. I am very afraid! I love them. If the have em, get a p.o. box I will send you some!
Isn't Toffifay so weird??

The weirdest thing they have now in stores that I am sure people will look at as truly strange 10 years from now... is Betty Crocker Warm Delights. Now there is a snack that exists for no other purpose that to placate compulsively comfort-snacking, overweight stay at home moms with nothing better to do than eat, and who are too lazy and impatient to make a real cake... even from a mix. [TONGUE][THUMBDOWN]
PS if you like Vegetable things, one thing I have found is very tasty but minus the MSG, is Terra Chips has a new flavor: tomato, celery and worcestershire. It is SO GOOD.

Also I love Robert's Food Veggie Booty. It's like these cheez puffs things but instead of cheez on them there is powdered spinach, kale etc powder. It sounds nasty but it is SO GOOD, it has a very savory taste. Also great for vegans, and kids who won't eat their vegetables. I use them as a snack for my daughter to add some extra vitamins to her diet and she doesn't even notice they are healthy. THey are low in fat and sodium as well, and high in protein![THUMBUP]
tOO much sugar.
obviously, if you read my blog, you will realize I am now a health food nut... but it's ok to reminisce.
Ding dongs do exist... my husband came home with them last month, so do twinkies...
Smarties, PEZ are easy to find here in Bean town. There is a restaurant/store called Crackerbarrel, where they have SO much of the nostaligic candy and treats. Remember Moon Pies? and Cracker Jacks, Salt water taffy, Now and Laters, Spree, Bazooka, I could go on and on, i am suprised that I have all of my teeth after all the candy that i ate as a kid.
We have Cracker Barrels here in VA. Where do you live in Boston? I'm from Boston. I lived in just about every neighborhood.
I live in Braintree. But I have lived in Chestnut Hill, Brighton, Brookline, South Boston, Waltham, Malden, and Quincy.
How about you?
I grew up in Cincinnati Ohio, came to Boston College and never left.
cadburys creeme eggs are not extinct, they reside in the Uk all year round, but mostly for the first 6 months of any year. I buy heaps of them[THUMBUP][THUMBUP][THUMBUP]
that's what a british friend of mine says!
Oh my gosh! Lik um aid! I loved on that stuff. I use to go to the candy store with a little money and come home with a big bag of junk. I think I existed on Lik um aid through my entire 5th grade year![THUMBUP]
They have this new kind of vitamin they sell at health food stores, ironically... it is these natural lollipops you dip into colored (naturally of course) vitamin sugar powder and lick. Kind of a cool concept... they also have vitamin gummy bears and worms, vitamin shakes, vitamin stars... of course, my daughter won't take any of them no matter what. I end up just giving her lots of bee pollen and wheatgrass juice and flax oil, which even more ironically and bizarrely, she loves. [HUH]

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