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Jollyonehere

 

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PARAPROSDOKIANS ....

Controversial Content
Added: Thursday, December 6th 2018 at 6:40am by Jollyonehere
 
 
 

....are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected;

Apparently, Winston Churchill loved them. Here are some examples:
 
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

3. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong

4. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

5 Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

6. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

7. To steal ideas from someone is plagiarism. To steal from many is called research.

8. In filling in an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency', notify: I put 'DOCTOR.'

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they look sexy.
 
11. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

12. A clear conscience is the sign of a bad memory.

13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

14. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. Nor is there any future in it.

15. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

16. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

And finally:
18. I am not arguing with you, I am explaining why you are wrong.

#8 is my favorite.

Plus I got another one the other day:
On WalMart application: In case of fire, what steps would you take?
"Fucking BIG ones " is apparently not the correct answer. Who knew??

User Comments

These are mainly truth in what they say

YUP

16 is my favorite, and 5 is an almost tie for favorite.

Good Morning Jolly!

Good Morning Miss Ellie!!

These are all good ones 13,12 and 4, perhsps.   :)

yup

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. –

True!

*holds out cuppa*

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