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Today was a Special Day!

Added: Sunday, February 10th 2019 at 4:20pm by jjohnson1957

Today I was actually able to physically hold my son, that probably doesn’t mean much to anyone who may be reading this, but we’ve always been a close family, and any time the boys would drop by to visit us, they would always give us a hug, and tell us they loved us before they left.

Our youngest has been incarcerated for the last 3 months, and will be for many more, and any contact has only been visible, through a TV screen and a phone handset. Today we had what is called a contact visit. It took 3 weeks to arrange this, and I am very thankful to the lady who made it all possible. It sounds like it would be easy, but it is actually a very complicated process.

When we arrived, we first were instructed to store our valuables in a locker, then we were ushered through a metal detector, and then we were led to a room. Before we got to the room, we saw a guard take our son into the room before us, and he looked out through the small window, and saw us, and he formed the biggest smile I have seen him show for a very long time. There were 4 of us in total, my grandson, my grand daughter, my wife, and myself.

So we got to the room, and hugs and kisses were exchanged, as was many tears. It’s been awhile, and those moments are special, and will be held in our hearts forever. No matter why he was there, didn’t matter, the only thing that did, was we were together, be it a short time.

Some may ask do we forgive him? We have nothing to forgive, his crimes were not directed at us, were we upset by his crimes, most certainly. Why did he do what he did…ADDICTION! Many consider addiction a disease, me personally, I look at it as a weakness, a human flaw that some of us have and let it take over our normal thinking process. Something we have to work on, when we are at our most vulnerable. Much like alcoholism, drugs are just as bad, if not worse, after all, most of them can kill you much faster…

So for 45 minutes we had a great visit, was able to talk to our “normal” son, the one who now had regained the weight he lost from his meth diet.The one who I and his brother had worked with side by side for the last several years. The one who was a great dad and partner to his sons mom. (She also was lost to his addiction)

It was a great day, but it was heart breaking as well…

User Comments

Ahhh Skipper, I'm glad you got to spend that time with him. I hope when his time is done he can come back out and not fall into the same thing. You KNOW I understand this and what you are going through.  Those are wonderful pictures of the boys.  Hugsss

Thank you Lia, I really appreciate you... I mean you, you have always been a great friend. 

I remember when those above pictures were taken and I can remember the stories you would tell me about your sons and how silly and goofy yall were.  I know you love those two boys to death, that love will never die.  I wish nothing but good for both of them. I'm glad you got to hold, hug and be next to your son as you were today.  I hope it won't be a long time before you see him again.  Relish the moments together as much as you can.

ya know darlin, you been on this journey with me for a lot of those years... and i thank you for that! We've had our ups, and our downs, but I'll always consider you a good friend, Sunshine!

Yes I was there from the very start. I know the stories on those sons and I know what you and D have gone through.  I wouldn't wish that on any parent.  I also know you will stand by both boys no matter what.  Its what a good dad does, and you are that....a good dad, and friend. ♡

Man, you made some great looking boys, skip.  (They must have gotten those good looks from their mom, hmm?)

Ducks and runs!

LoL, glad you got to see him, and were able to take the grandkids too.  How long before he's allowed another contact visit?

yup, any good looks I can't take any credit for! Contact visits are every 30 days, but usually by the time they go through all the necessary channels, it's about 45.

I didn't know you were having to go through this.  Addiction is a difficult challenge for all affected.  Git probably sounds perverse, but we always breathed a sigh of relief every time our addict kids were encarcerated.  at least we knew they were safe.  Glad you got to see him.  Hopefully this 'time out' will give him a chance to reevaluate, and come out of it with renewed resolve.  

A lot of people wouldn't understand   about us breathing a sigh of relief when they are incarcerated, but when they are still addicted, and have no desire to get cleaned up, at least when they are in jail, we know where they are, and that they are relatively safe...

That's really unfortunate, Skip. Very hard for everyone. Best wishes for the man to make it home safe and stay straight. 

Yesterday was one of the first times in a long time my son mentioned getting help for his addiction, at least that I took him seriously. One can only hope...

This is a great, heartfelt write Skip.

I agree with you... rather than addiction being a disease, it is indeed a weakness. No one sets out to become an addict, it just happens. It starts out being fun, maybe just a temporary escape from the daily rut we sometimes find ourselves in, then it consumes a person. They become someone other than themselves.

Love can bring your son back Skip.

A truly heart warming story. I agree about the addiction being a weakness. It is good you could see your son. They need to know that they are still loved.

i've even told him on ocassion, I don't like you at the moment, but i do love you, and always will...

Are either of them single? Can they cross the border? LOL. Sending you HUGE hugs Skip. I know how hard it is when you cannot spend time with your children, whatever the reason.

Cory, the youngest is single, but he won't be availabe for awhile... 

Yup it is hard when you can't spend time with your kids, one in jail, another in another province...

I did not know you were going through all of this. My heart goes out to you. I hope he gets the help he needs. 

Thank you, and yes, it's been a very hard few months, at the moment he's looking into a program they just started for addictions.

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