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Back to the roots
So about a year ago I signed up for an account here on Blogster to write out all of my more irrelevant feelings and prolly to express my over emotional feelings at whatever time I wanted. I began to make friends and it became something more of a recreational use. I eventually had proven to myself I no longer needed the blog for the recreation and hence my long disappearance. Well today is the day I get back to my roots and express my maybe almost high schoolish emotions.
A few days ago I met this awesome girl on-line. This is one fo those people that you don't exist until you meet them. Basically everything you know about me can be directly applied to her. She loves sports, she loves to game, shes highly intelligent and philosophical. She stays awake at night and gets her sleep in the day just as I do. With having only minor differences we hit it off right away. After knowing her for 36 hours we've spent at least 22 hours fo them on the phone 4 hours typing on-line and numerous text messages were sent.
So this seemingly next to perfect girl has a rule. "People who I meet on the Internet, stay on the Internet". I'm not gonna pretend I don't understand it, but under no circumstances do I like it and it sorta really irks me under the skin. After spending 80% of our time conversing in our last 36 hours it's easy to tell shes attracted to me. Not that she hasn't dropped hints into our conversation to let me verbally know anyway.
I am not a person who consistently says "They can't do that" or "It isn't fair", but this REALLY isn't fair. The only thing stranding in the way of being together is her stubbornness to not sway from her rule. TBH it really does piss me off, she denying us the chance to make something better out of what is already good. I even feel myself getting more annoyed as I type which is weird cause normally I find writing therapeutic.
I feel like no matter how optimistic I remain it will all be vein cause shes to caught up in formalities and other hugely insignificant things. Needless to say I don't want to let her get away because she is the only person I have ever met that I have this much in common, that includes guys and girls. Unfortunately I also feel like I have no choice.
I wish I could express into words how disappointed/angry I feel about this. If i have ever felt before the way i do now, I don't remember it. That's half the reason I needed to write this out. The last thing I want to do is say this to her and lose the good we do have. In the end I could see this destroying me without a proper dispersal method.
IDK how long I can remain optimistic. IDK if there is anything I can do to change her mind. Mind Games, Simple ongoing strong friendship, relationship games, cutting her out and hoping she will miss me enough to make a change. None of which I think will work.
So I'm left with great emotions of happiness clouded in extreme sadness.
If I wasn't so smart this wouldn't be an issue. I could go on in ignorant bliss and be happy. Karen and I spent a couple hours texting romantic song lyrics the other night as conversation. The small percent of me that is holding on to being optimistic has been listening to this 90's pop classic.
*You can't deny, so just tell me why, every little thing I do, never seems enough for you. You don't want to lose it again, but I'm not like them. When finally you get to love... I hope It'll be me.*
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User Comments
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We've already spoke on the phone. a lot. I understand how it all seems, which is why I started the blog the way I did. |
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Just my thoughts--I think you are caught up in a day dream and should just take time |
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I'd have to agree with you |
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So whats her reason for the rule? |
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I'm not overly sure apprently it applies to female friends also, so it's nothing against me. |
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At least she's being consistent....and probably has a good, personal reason for her decision. You don't have to agree with it but have to respect her for it. |
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I do respect and I also dont like it. At soem point the relationship will turn one way or the other and this will not be an issue anymore, in the mean time Ive given in to being my own worst enemy |
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She's got u wehre she wants you! Your going insane because of her rules :) |
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I know shes terrible, lulz but its all good. |
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hahaha...makes u won't her more! sucks to be u! |
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LOL!!!! she sounds like a smart chick doesn't she? |
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lolol @ sucks to be you. Honestly didnt see that coming. |
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I am sorry Justin, I was just funning u. I know your serious about this and do hope it works out for the best for both of you! You know how I really feel about you! |
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LOL Poor Justin, it's a wonder he comes back at all with the way we abuse him Bev. Sometimes I just can't resist, my bad:) |
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LOL....but we're just playing, okie. And you're such a bad influence on me!! |
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I think your bad influences on each other, Ive seen how you ladies run around with your schemes... |
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Us...run around....Justin r u sure it was us???? I think you may have us confused with two other ladies here |
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Me! haha u egg him on...I only said it sucked to be him (in love) |
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J !! |
okie and I are just two sweet country ladies who never run around scheming.....well....hardly ever. And only to people we like!! 
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oh ha! don't play innocent with me little missy. but you're right...sucks to be him...in love. |
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OK I won't, I will own this! Yes it could work and if it's meant to be, it will. I wish Justin only the best life has offer! As I do for my other friends. |
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You're a good friend and J's lucky he's one of yours. :) |
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I'm lucky your both one of mine:) |
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btw I think Justin thinks were both mental....lol |
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ha!!! who US??? oh perish the thought okie......maybe a little off center, thats all! :) |
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In need of facilties would be most accurate :) |
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lol....you may have a point J. :) |
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In need of facilities....Justin what are you trying to say??? I am laughing so hard! If they put us together we would be happy as two pigs in a mud waller:) |
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yea, youd also be the only two people left in the facility, everyone would be so affraid of you, youd drive them sane... Hea hea |
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hahahaha drive them insane??? That's a good laugh Justin! ha Score for u!
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Your something else, don't know yet what u are but it's something else! |
Oh drive them sane! Got it! Well would be no need for shrinks! ha How funny! Who's going to help me and Bev???? |
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Hard situation maybe if you stay her friend and understand she will eventually change her mind and meet you. In the mean time.. what a cool internet friend you have found. Enjoy!!! |
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Gracias, Now that I got all the innitial feelings out of the way I feel much better about the situation so we will be friends, I wont hate anymore. |
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:) |
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Want my advice? Ferget 'er. She ain't gotta open mind or an open heart if she jus' limits you to th' virtual world. Ya might be th' best damn thing that ever happened to 'er (or vice versa), but she won't know with that silly ''rule'' she's got. Gotta cut yer long-term losses...it may be peaches an' cream now, but over time them peaches'll be rotten an' needs tuh be thrown out, if ya know what I mean. |
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Her and I have grown to pretty close friends, I'm honestly over it all now. Thanks for your opinion tho I do liek to hear peoples opinions either way, some day they will apply. WHen that day comes Imma shoot you a message lulz. Youd better still be on Blogster Im not chasing you all over the WWW. |
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Oh damn....that's even worse. Close friends?? After all that feelin's ya had for 'er?? That's a bummer....I mean, if yer over it an' don't see 'er in that light anymore, than it's cool. But, if ya still do, then bein' 'er friend is a bitch. 'Cause you know she'll say no 'bout it yet yer feelin's haven't changed. So it's still a loss cause. Do whatcha want, but that's my 2 pennies worth. |
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Just for curiosity, have you exchanged photos? do you know what she actually looks like? I'm asking because this happened to a friend who wouldnt meet someone she got really close and pally to on the internet. He sounded really nice and genuine and she liked him a lot. So I asked her why she didnt want to meet him, a coffee shop or somewhere "safe" wouldnt hurt. Then she told me that she sent him a photo of her but it wasnt her at all. So she couldnt go and meet him because it all started off as a lie and now she's not sure if he will still like her after lying about what she looked like. Needless to say, she is not as attractive as the girl in the photo she sent him....but she's not even unattractive herself. I think she's quite pretty actually. Sad isnt it?
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reminds me of a quote, one of my favorites actually. |
"People who I meet on the Internet, stay on the Internet" She is playing it safe and I (you) can't blame her--you have only known her a few days !!! How do you know who she really is? How does she know who you are? First step AFTER you have 'spoken' on the Internet for a couple of months go to phone calls--when and if she trusts you she might break her rule--you being pushy will only make her be stronger about her rule.
'If I wasn't so smart' in this case IMO you are not being smart--no one knows who is behind that username!