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Baby It's Cold Outside (Song Controversy)

Added: Wednesday, December 5th 2018 at 10:15am by greunies
Related Tags: relationships

So, in the song, she is telling him she has to go and he is pressuring her to stay. 

He is not showing any respect for her fears, needs and noes.  He keeps pushing her boundaries in order to get his own way. 

His body language screams – I wanna phuck you baby ... and she keeps saying no. 

Her better sense lists important reasons to leave but he ignores and pushes for what he wants.  Does this behaviour show you a loving and respectful friend?  Like the friend who prods you into doing something against your better sense and then deserts you when it all falls apart?

What about the question ... “say what's in this drink”?  Does it not imply he has spiced her drink to make her weak? 

The song has a covert message; if women say no, nevermind, keep at her, she will give in.  I was not aware of any of this until someone saw it and pointed out something we missed.

I thank whoever for spotting this.  In other words, I realized I was not thinking about what this song communicates.

This song carries a sinister message in its innocence.  Even when the roles are reversed, it is still one person pressuring another to do something they don't want to do.

Nope ... I can no longer listen to this song and not hear its disrespectful message.  One person is saying to another ... your feelings don't count and I will push you until you are flat under me.


User Comments

IT IS A SONG!, Not a social study lesson! These actions take place constantly in life between the sexes. He is not FORCING her to stay, or trying to rape her. Yes it has a sexual innuendo, yes he has a desire, and is trying to induce her to stay. He knows it, SHE knows it. It is a song!

It is also influence.  Hearing its intent influences young men how to behave in relationship.  Children are sponges.  Play this to your childre or grandchildren and what will they hear?  Just a song or will they pay attention to what's going on between two people? I wonder how many unwanted pregnancies happened just because of a seduction such as this.  It may be a song, but it also a communication of values.  As we learn better, isn't a revision of how we think important?  But it is a choice, isn't it - whether to consider this important or not ... you have chosen this as siily while I chose to consider it important.  Oh well.   

us2nomads is so on your side in this.

But, when I was a young man, I believed in being a gentleman, and I liked the young women who showed an interest in me. And I never dreamed of hurting someone who paid me that complement.  Or being forceful, or cruel. Every single time a woman gives up that she likes you is a golden moment and an affection generating moment. A private spiritual moment between two youngies, that might not work out in the end, but will always stay fixed in the memory as a time of joy. In a life that largely, like most lives, are fairly joyless. 

I really valued those times when an actual woman would actually like me openly. It made me feel warm and cosy inside. And I adored every woman who made me feel like that. I had a lot of relationships. Never lost my temper once. I adored those ladies. Even when things didn't work out. Still liked 'em.

I do not  hear what you her, but I try not to listen to this song because I think it is dumb

Thanks for visiting ...{#basic-smile.gif}

This song is no worse than the rap songs out there, calling woman names. 

I think you can read anything into a song that you want it to mean. I not one time ever saw it as anything other than the weather was bad, dont go out in the cold. 


Thank you for visiting. {#basic-smile.gif}


Greunies. You are correct though I've paid little attention to this song myself. When I asked my wife why she wanted to marry me, she said: "Because I love you, you will never leave me, and you let me be me." Kinda says it all.

I cannot receive private messages on blogster.

Wow! I didn't know your misses said that about you Steve. It does say it all.

Er, "I find you somewhat attractive and I feel a wee bit amorously toward you!" is not surely comparable to ******* yo **** you ***** beatch! ?

Well Oak, I've never asked a woman to marry me and I've been engaged quite a few times. But... I was really surprised when my 1st and 2nd wives proposed to me because they were talented and so very beautiful. I could not understand why they chose me. They could have had any man they wanted.

I regretfully and respectfully disagree. The song is a stylised version of the human mating dance. If we dismiss it as cruel and bigoted, then we have to dismiss Fred and Ginger in their entirety. We have to dismiss much of the golden (black and white) age of Hollywood. The man in no way abuses the woman, though he does try to engage her and nudge her to an affectionate concordance.

Ultimately, most people seem to be here to inadverantly mate and maintain the species. The man has the job of being pushy so he may so eventually sow his seed, the woman the job of being choosey, so she picks the finest genes for her offspring. Its the Human Dalliance, that inspires so many of us, so much in us. It is not a cruel perversity, any more than nature.

Of course, brutality must always be condemned on any level. The song was not brutal in my view. And the lady got out of the situation comfortably, and probably "favoured" the guy later, as he was a charmer.

The ultimate argument against the song being bigoted is Indina Menzal and Michael Buble's version of it. Which I think captures the playfulness and fun elements of the song. 


You say potato, and I say potarto, you say tomato and I say tomarto, is not a man dictating to a woman about how to pronounce fruit and veg correctly. At her expense. Its a wistful debate between two people who love each discovering that, despite that, they are also two distinct individuals. Men and women are psychologically mentally wired differently, in a way that endorses the human species as a whole.

But it can cause conflict, upset, and, unforgivably, violation. Despite that, it largely works, at least statistically. Providing that we think of ourselves as cattle.

I'd also like to say, that I don't think there is anything wrong with anyone wanting to "phuck" someone else. The wanting is a natural thing. Nothing perverse or bad about that. But humans are not dogs. We have developed sophisticated societies, cultures, values, and I'd like to think that those things mattered to most people. 

The urge is not the thing. The urge is innocent. Its the cowardice, selfishness, or psychopathy that is the thing. And only a small number of people are really about that. Yet they often make us feel that there is a tsunami of filth about to swamp us all any second. 

Not a nice message for your page. But I think its a nice song.

I agree, there is a play between sexes and there is nothing wrong with showing a desire to phuck but for me, too many ignored noes and a spicy drink add up to harassment.  I have been in these situations and the pressure is confusing.  It may be that I was tempted to give in but my wisdom knew it wasn't the best decision.  Desire can lead us to unwanted consequences ... but here we are ... you see it as tomato and I see it as tomatoe ... {#heart.gif}

I'm sorry that you've had such negative experiences and I know that women are more likely to get the shit end of the stick on that basis. And that absolutely isn't right.

Harrassment and viloation are completely unacceptable. 

I think you are right to avoid certain situations.

I only see it as a tomato because I'm male. Rather than evil. And British. (Which might actually count as evil in some quarters).

When that song was written men believed that good girls said no but really wanted to be ravaged and were playing coy.  And yes, being a woman who is affected by the chase of a male would give us different perspectives. I was slammed up a wall many a time while I kept saying no.  Eventually my pursuer backed off but not without undue pressure.  I was lucky. But I knew other women who were worn down and greatly regretted it.  

Fuck! I'm really sorry!

greunies, If a man has " the majic touch" in so far as women are concerned, responsibility comes with charm and looks. He should not take advantage if the consequences to the woman could be harmful. He could really hurt her. I remember challenging a group of friends by disregarding their demands and taking a girl home. Once there, because she was a bit tippsey, I undessed her and put her to bed. She said I could take her if I wanted. I told her to sleep it off. If she was sober the next day I'd take her invite under consideration.

I think a woman's respect for a man as well as his looks, his intelligence, and his charm often attracts her to him. He must feel her feelings. It can't be all one sided, greunies.

For heavens sake its just a song.  Wise up and stop being so stupid.

Your arrogance is well noted.  Thank you.

Just my opinion and l am entitled to it.

Of course you are entitled, was there doubt?

Yes l heard something about this recently on the radio.  l am not familiar with the song but l will have to check it out.

Let me know how you see it ... 

l checked out the lyrics to the song.  l guess when it was first released it was harmless enough but things that were acceptable back then are not acceptable as much now.   l sort of take out of it he didn't want her to get cold ... but thats maybe me being a bit naive.

It was lovely that your returned and shared your thoughts with me.  Thanks.

If people are going to be willing to cherry pick songs like this for scrutiny, then it's gonna metastasize like cancer throughout society.

I will not ever lose sight of the fact this nonsense is being driven by women with vendettas against men.

mmm ... I am not surprised by your perspective.  

Lol if you're insinuating that means you know something about me, you might wanna check that narcissism.

This has been a long time coming and anyone who's been listening to the leaders of third wave feminism knew it. They're just part of this hideous social justice scourge. Where do you think it should stop? Or do you?

I see it as a wave of garnering boundaries for women.  There is ever behaviour or thought patterns requiring clearer thinking (burning women for being witches comes to mind). Why is it a problem to learn and behave more kindly to each other?  I don't understand all the objections against extending more respect for each other.  If someone tells me I am disrespecting their boundaries,  I will stop and pay attention.  Narcissistic people do not care about another's boundaries.

I don't understand all the objections against extending more respect for each other.

I bet you don't wanna discuss that? I'll show you example after example of how it's not about extending respect but demanding compliance with their dictates. See, I think you're seeing social justice for how we wish it were, rather than how it's actually playing out which is an authoritarian nightmare.

Ok, if that comment regarding me wasn't narcissistic, then why do you think I'd give that answer? Because right now to this point, you do not know why I gave that answer. Only through discourse would you understand that.

Their dictates?  Social justice?  I am thinking of interaction.  If I step on your foot and you yell ouch, I will know that I have stepped over and caused you hurt.  What is the problem of me then considering that I watch where I step in order not to hurt you further?

Social Justice IS all about interactions.

Stepping on someone's foot is a bad metaphor for the politically correct dictates for social justice. More people are NOT offended by this stupid song than are, so why should we care what those who feel their foot has been stepped on think?


"These things have to be determined interaction by interaction."

I agree.  You have a Max circumference that others may enter by invitation only. By not watching where I am going, stepping into where I have not been invited (stepping on your foot) I overstep. 

If the objection is that you feel forced to care when you don't want to ... I agree.  No one likes being pressured or forced to do something that rapes their freedom.  My point exactly... 

Ok, I get that. But I still don't know where you stand on the issue.

LOL I don't have any circumference whatsoever. That's a good one coming from a person so reluctant to just speak clearly what you mean rather than trying to be so philosophical, Gre..

You don't have a circumference?  So anyone can do anything they want to you? So no objection if I poke your eyes out?{#flower-for-you-coolguy.gif}

holy phucking crap... it is a song... I'm sure the message that some asshats seem to think it's sending, you included, was never the intent of the writer. 

The writer was as innocent as the era was in not realizing the influence he is spreading.  It was a time.  When that song was written, a woman needed to ask her husband's permission to work.  She could not get a loan unless her husband signed for her.  These 'rules' have long since changed.  The song remains ... Until whoever pointed it out, I never gave it a thought.  But now that someone has, I see it as it was ... yes ... but also with other intonations.  The writer was a product of his time and wrote from that mindset.  Songs communicate many things... rap songs degrade and piss on women.  Respecting someone is minding another's boundaries.  Thank you for calling me an asshat... it makes me feel so good ... NOT!  But that's okay as far as you are concerned ... because you don't give a shit about how I would take it, do you?  Of course you would think this way.

holy phucking crap... it is a song


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