From:

http://www.speaklikeastar.com/2008/10/communication-etiquette-eye-contact.html

I met someone for the first time the other day and when I shook her hand she didn't look me in the eyes. It's amazing what a difference such a seemingly minor non-verbal signal makes.

If you don't look someone in the eyes when you meet them, there are a number of assumptions the person could make:

1. You're hiding something
2. You're very insecure
3. You feel intimidated
4. You're not really paying attention
5. You're just rude

None of these assumptions are positive, and hopefully none of them are true. In my situation, I could tell by the rest of the person's body language that she was just a bit insecure. But I could easily see how other people could read her signals as being rude.

The worst part is that I don't even think she realized the message she was sending. It's very possible that she has had a hard time connecting with others and not known why. Think of how many relationships have started off on the wrong foot because of this small mistake!

When you meet someone for the first time, eye contact is just as important, if not more important than a firm handshake. Make sure you make the best possible first impression and look your new acquaintance directly in the eyes.

Yeah, I don't know, FL ...I have never had the time and inclination to ask or look it up somewhere. Thought I might get an answer or two here....

Time for a beer!

Cheers..

Takes all kinds, I guess. I have a friend w/ aspergers and she has no trouble interfacing pretty normally with safe/friendly people.

She is very lucky.

She has been able to do therapy with a wizard therapist, and lots of it...I am sure that is a positive factor

She has been very lucky. My friend was diagnosed as bi-polar,retarded etc. as a child. She is none of those but was raised and educated as if she was. She is extremely bright and artistic and has overcome the lack in her education on her own. She has earned a BA on her own even though the system refused to finance it because she was not "capable" of the work. In fact she wrote a book in 7 days with pictures depicting the book and it was accepted by the college here and she has been asked to work in the college autistic program.

Thanks for responding, AM... Your trepidation is not without a basis, for a handshake without eye contact is considered at least incomplete if not rude or insulting by most people with whom I have spoken. --That is, ideal handshaking in greeting someone in the USA has acceptable and unacceptable elements, which in turn have additional acceptable and unacceptable qualities. What I would like to see is for someone to put ALL of USA handshaking into words, and all into one brief advisory.

So far no known expert has replied here or otherwise to me, and Wikipedia articles are not inclusive of 'gaze' while hand shaking. Here (below) are portions of 2 wiki articles with my editing or emphasis added in a couple of spots. —Regardless of other comments on this article, I will continue to search and will report my findings in this thread here with you.

Types of handshakes:

A greeting can consist of an exchange of formal expression, a simple kiss, a hand shake or a hug. The form of greeting is determined by social etiquette, as well as by the relationship of the people.

Beyond the formal greeting, which may involve a verbal acknowledgment and sometimes a hand shake, facial expression, gestures, body language and eye contact can all signal ...(acceptance and/or unacceptance).  Facial expression, body language and eye contact reflect emotions and interest level. A frown, slouching and lowered eye contact suggests disinterest, while smiling and an exuberant attitude is a sign of welcome .

Throughout all cultures people greet one another as a sign of recognition, affection, friendship and reverence . While hand shakes, hugs, bows, nods and nose rubbing are all acceptable greetings, the most common greeting is a kiss, or kisses, on the cheek. Cheek kissing is most common in Europe and Latin America and has become a standard greeting in Southern Europe.

I have had an insight since I last responded to you, AM.

Though it is mostly unconscious, when we "make eye contact" we are reading the other person...trying to find out who they are and what their intentions are toward us. Sooo... not looking at someone when shaking hands is rife with negative possibilities.

The two major meanings are 1) fear/cowering, or shame, and 2) arrogance or, "'I don't care' ...enough about you to even read your body language." Extremely deprecating.

Here is more than you wanted to know about eye communication. I read most of it; I do not agree with all, but it was all helpful to me. Still, I have questions.

http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/parts_body_language/eyes_body_language.htm

Yet, at first you said: "...it makes me feel strange".

Silly me, I thought you might be....