In light of my recent announcement that my impending departure from this life is on the doorstep, so to speak, I thougth I would share some of the thougths contained in an invaluable book which has graced my bookshelves for several years now.  The title of the book is "Real Life Problems And Their Solutions"   Catchy title isn't it?  thought you would like it.

It was written in the 1920's or 30's and contains advice on every single thing about living in the 'modern' world you could consider.  Here are a few snippets from the book.

PROBLEM OF CO-EDUCATION

"..... but many fathers decalare that co-education makes boys soft and effeminate, and mother often deplore the rough tyomboy habits that their daughters acquire" 

So that's you told then!  The problem of education solved in one answer.  You should really be sending yoru children to fee-paying schools of course.

EXCUSE MONGERS

"When he gets low marks it is because he has mistaken the question, or a boy has stolen his exercises, or the teacher has a spite against him.  A girl may declare that her desk is badly lighted, that mother thinks the subject is stupid, or that she could not possibly prepare her homework because there was illness in the house or visitors had arrive dunexpectedly."

I think there are some good excuses there for us all to consider using in the future.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

"One of the strangest phenomena in love is the case of the young man or woman who falls head over ears in love with a perfect stranger at first sight.  A girl may be so moved as to pale and show signs of faintness.  The youth can be seized with an inexplicable tremor and seem unable to control his speech"

I feel sure that you are glad we got that out of the way!! It would account for a lot of paleness, faintness and tremors I see going on around me day by day.

Now a question which I drew great comfort from in the past, and one which I am sure we can all relate to in the 21st centuary.

SHOULD A MANAGER MARRY A FACTORY HAND?

".....I noticed a beautiful girl of about eighteen who had been transferred to my department. ..... it is true she cannot speak grammatically, and that her people are all common labourers.  Should I be wise to persist in this match?"

"No.  It is one thing to make love to this young girl in secret, but quite another to marry, set up home, and introduce her to your family and friends.  Although you may be the least snobbish person in the world it would grate upon your ears, as an educated man, to listen to badly phrased and ungrammatical speech all the time, and even more so in the presence of cultured acquainances."

I have to say that this is very sound advice and something we should always bear in mind when dealing with factory hands.

Or to put it another way.  Find 'em, Feel 'em, F... 'em , and Forget 'em.

So, there you have it.  A few tips for a happy and successful life.

 I am now going to retire to a dark room where I shall sit with my head over a bowl of camphor and hot water to inhale it, and thus clear my head of this ague which has sticken me down in my prime.

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