I almost feel like I spoke too soon when I announced the joyous news about our being approved for the house and our plans to move almost immediately. We have been busy the last couple of days jumping through various hoops in dealing with getting the lease actually signed, sealed and delivered. We’ve had to produce rental history, credit reports and other various forms of proof to show our good intentions to this landlord; to boot, he even at one point changed the amount he was expecting for our security deposit and it almost broke the deal as far as we were concerned. We’re in a stressful spot because we have already presented our current landlord with a 45 day notice to terminate the lease and I have a potential sublet prospect coming to see our apartment tomorrow! We sort of feel like we have, in good faith, moved forward with our plans to vacate this current apartment but now, with the house deal feeling likeit’s on thin ice, we sort of feel like we have to move but with no place to go; the house deal on thin ice is a bit scary and thank goodness, we know how to swim because of the deal breaks through, we’re going to be treading some water quickly and have to find an alternate place to locate or rescind our 45 notice to vacate.

            It’s funny because just yesterday I had this great dialogue with Rachel4jc regarding faith and doubt. We are experiencing some doubts right now, but I am clinging to my faith that it will all work to our favor. It’s not easy because so much of what is going on is the hands of others and I can’t just take control of the matter myself. I know this landlord is simply worried about his piece of property (house) and he wants to make sure that we’ll not only be good tenants, but he won’t be screwed in any way, especially financially. We can prove easily that we have an excellent rental history dating back five years, our credit reports, although weak, are also guaranteed with the co-signature of our fathers who will ensure that rent is always paid. We have cash on the table now for the deposit and we’re in a good financial position to meetour future obligations without any problem at all; but still, the landlord, who is relocated/retired in Florida, is nervous about us for some reason. I wonder if he has poked around to research me/us on-line and might have stumbled on this blog, on something I have on-line (because it’s not hard to find me by simply googling my name) and this has in someway turned him off or made him have reason to suspect us in a negative way. I don’t have anything negative on-line, I don’t publish anything I regret but you never know how people perceive things. I wish I could communicate directly with the gentlemen, but the real estate people stand between us (which might also be a problem in the deal) and I don’t have any contact information from him…I don’t even know his name!

            Presently the wifey and I are sitting among boxes of stuff, our abode is messy, the kids are gone (both had over night sleepovers last night) and we’re each on our laptops, dealing with these matters in our own ways.   She is researching both her credit background (she has none to speak of, which is a problem) and alternative places to rent, should we need to do that. I am writing out my frustration by blogging, poking around on-line to see what others might find out about me and listening to some comfort music (The Beatles). Our plan for the day is to carry on with the packing process and doing some minor house work to ready this place to show it tomorrow. I am letting go of our doubts for the time being and embracing our faith that all things will work out well and in our favor. I am feeling a bit of anxiety too,this touches on one of my core fear issues; being homeless. I have this fear of our being homeless, it’s not really rational, but it haunts me because I have, for a short time in my life, been homeless. It was many years ago (1987) and it sucked. I was living in my 1965 Chevy Impala (named “Terrapin”), sleeping in the large backseat while parked in various locations around the city of Chicago. I was fortunate to get myself out of that situation but it left an indelible mark on my psyche and I never want to feel those awful emotions again. More recently, after we moved back to Chicago land in ’02 (from Arkansas), we lived with each of the wifey’s parents and one of her brothers before we got firmly on our own feet. That was close to homeless too, we had the kids then, so it really frightened me. After my break down (in ’06), once we moved here to Palatine, we became stable and have remained here in this community for the last five years. This house deal, this thin ice feeling, is tooclose to the emotional bone and so, I’m writing it out, riding it out and moving forward as best as we can.

            I guess I will simply hope and pray for the most positive outcome and in the meanwhile, go about our business as best as possible. I am wondering if other people have experienced this kind of trouble in securing a rental property; likewise, if you’re a landlord, maybe you know something about what our potential new landlord might be going through. I have to admit, I’m a little bit confused because as of Thursday morning we believed we had a deal and to have it suddenly turn around on us, in less than 36 hours, it’s just strange. I wonder why? I will again humbly ask for your good vibes and positive thoughts, I am always Grateful for the support I find in this community. We still really want this house, we still are certain we can make it work on our end and it would be such an affirmative action for our family to move into this house,but as of this hazy Saturday morning, we’re sort of sitting in limbo…in conclusion, as I always do, I so appreciate your visit, your comments and your support/suggestions. Like I often say, take care, be well and stay cool!

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