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Thewritertwo

 

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Going Back To Stand Up Comedy On One Condition - National Free Speech Day

Controversial Content
Added: Thursday, November 14th 2019 at 6:55am by Thewritertwo
 
 
 

There is nothing more frustrating than wanting to do something that your parents didn't raise you to do. Take for instance the F-word. My parents thought me not to say the F-word, and then I thought my nephew not to say the F-word. He was saying the F-word as early as 4 years old and I was so concerned that he would burn in the pit of hell fire that I scolded him, every time he said it. I wasn't even his father, but I immediately and secretly assumed the role. 

Everyone knows the F-word, no matter how much we try to decorate it. You can go to Facebook jail for writing it out in full, but you will get a pass if you wrote it as f"ck. Why is that even possible? Were you trying to write fack and forgot the a or could it be fbck? Even something as useful as autocorrect wouldn't correct it if you wanted to type the f-word and purposefully made an error.

I was born to be a stand up comedian, and even did it a few times. And I failed at it. I now know why I failed at it. I had set the bars too high. I felt like I had to put in a big performance and I didn't lived up to my expectations. I didn't live up to the expectations of the audience either. They were looking at me like, "What the fuck?" 

My mother had high expectations of me. She had set the bar really high. She took me to church. She introduced me to all the religions. She jumped from one religion to another. We were Anglicans, Pentecostals, Jehovah Witnesses, Anglicans, and then Catholics. The way my mom was changing religion, you would have swear that they had religious elections every 4 years and she voted for the one who convinced her. I hated the experience. She used to wake me up at 6 in the morning to walk 3 miles to the nearest church to get there by 7:30.

I could never understand why God neither my help. Here is a man that had the toughest job on the planet and somehow needs the help of a worthless kid like me. His job is tougher than a brain fucker surgeon, but somehow he believes that I should voluntarily help him. How many of you would volunteer to learn how to do brain surgery on someone? Exactly, not one of you, so why so many of you motherfuckers are volunteering to do God's work? You don't think his job his harder than brain surgery? Has he ended wars? No. Has he ended poverty? No. Have there been a rise in homelessness? Yes. Have there been a rise in hopelessness? Yes. By these numbers, it is evident that God don't need my help. God needs the help of someone with real experience at fucking up. Someone who knows what it feels like to fail and then to win. Someone like Donald fucking Trump. Donald Trump has been bankrupt more times than anyone else in the history of business. Trump has been bankrupt faster than the bank couldissue him bankruptcy notices, and each time he eased his way out of it. That's the kind of guy we need as president. He would bankrupt the fucking country and then build it up nicely declaring it "Great again." It would be a beautiful country, just like the Taj Maharaj. Trump should be president for life. Trump is the only president that would stand up to the Federal Government and bluntly tell them that we owe them 40 trillion and they won't be getting a cent of it. He would let them know that we have the strongest military and they should sit their butt down. God don't need me.

God needs Kanye West. Someone whose last hit was just a few months ago when his lyrics read, "You're such a fucking whore, and I like it." He even apeared in a music video for the song. Now Kanye is a Christian and he has put on some of the best Christian shows I've ever seen. Kanye is taking Christinity to a higher heights with Sunday Service and his newly released gospel album. Could you imagine Kanye West having me crying during Sunday Service? Kanye is the only man, who could have told the people working on his album project to abstain from sex for the 3-month period, and they would abide to it. He is the only guy that could tell Kim Khaddashian, no more sex tapes, and she would abide by it. God don't need me, God needs Kanye West.

So I am going back to Stand Up. This it is going to be different. I am setting the bar low, really low. I am sounding a warning to my audience that my bar is so low that I don't give a fuck wether they like it or not. Further I'm letting them know that if they do like it and laugh they may break my focus and I may forget my lines and that would ruin the entire show. In that way, there is no pressure on me to perform and that's exactly how I live my life. 

I am going back to Stand Up, but on one condition, that is, American needs to declare a National Free Speech holiday, if they are really serious that this should be a country of Free Speech abd stop pretending that it is.

User Comments

Damn, little risky cursing on YOUR page with ice cream cone around, isn't it? lol

Sorry, but one of the funniest fucking things ever on here was being scolded by that one for cursing on MY page. You cannot make that shit up.

but you will get a pass if you wrote it as f"ck. Why is that even possible?

Lol this was a thing on here for about 3 weeks.. I simply asked the question why it was any different for me to say FUCK rather than their chosen fu*k... I asked how it makes any sense at all to think it, say it in your mind, and then self censor? The responses to that (mostly from the hypocrite religious right) were revealing. It was that day that I realized some people literally think saying fuck is worse than the lying they do all day, and not just to others, but to themselves. A real eye opener that was.

If you're suggesting usage of the word fuck is low bar I gotta disagree. I think that's archaic and way outta touch with the 21st century.

American needs to declare a National Free Speech holiday

I could not think of a worse idea. Nothing would say we are NOT who we think we are more than that. You'd have idiots in this country thinking it only applies on that day. Everyday in America is Free Speech day and that is the only message worth sharing.

Carlin and Pryor would not have been as funny as they were without usage of the word.

The problem with these motherfuckers pretending they are for free-speech while quickly taking it away from those who express it, it the prime reason for me saying let's give it a holiday. Right now free speech is just an implied thought. Once you get them to acknowledge it and celebrate it, there is no turning back. I see your point though. Setting the bar low, is just an expression to take a stance to don't expect much in money comedy performance. It has nothing to do with the kind of language or thoughts I will express. On the otherhand, writing this stuff is freeing for me. You won't believe the kind of crap that crosses my mind.

I get where you're coming from. We have Bill of Rights day on Dec 15th. How many do you think know that, or care? lol

I didn't even know that. 

It's not your fault. It barely gets a mention due to the 2 month long XMAS holiday. My Grandpa brought it to my attention as a kid and told me to take a minute each Dec 15th to check the pulse of the Bill of Rights - and that's exactly what I've done.... but now I check it every single day. Grandpa was way ahead of the curve...

He certainly was. Sometimes I wonder where we are heading as a country when it comes to freedom of speech. And I know in the end a lot of people won't like it when they see the end result. Sometimes we just have to leave shit alone instead of trying to fix everything.

I fear we're not headed anywhere good. Recent polling showed a majority of college students want restrictions. Seems we are in a place where a lotta people simply don't understand how priceless it is. I blame the education system and the authoritarian scum in media and politics that constantly call for people to be silenced. They should all be setting a better example.

Hey, off topic here but.. since I'm censored from Amod's page... what do you think about that lie he just told you...

"Joe Biden was never going to be found to have done anything wrong, because he didn't"

But he bragged about Quid Pro Quo in Ukraine in the most arrogant way. Why is that not wrong? I know Amod doesn't care about the truth... but should righteous people care that he bragged about the very thing they've tried to destroy Trump with, despite it not happening?

I don't know enough about Joe Biden's situation to say if he did something wrong or not. It will be hard to convince me that the companies that are employing Hunter Biden are not doing it because of Joe Biden's position. If Joe Biden was not the VP, Hunter Biden would not have gotten those jobs. I am sure Joe Biden knows that. 

You have not heard his own words? lol Dude, if you can't listen to those words and be honest enough to admit it's WRONG, and that if they had Trump doing the same thing it would be the end of the world, then I have to wonder if you're any more honest than Amod.

I can only assume you have not seen it.

I have said that the whole thing is a show. People in power look out for their family and friends, so if Biden did something wrong I won't be surprised. Personally, I think Trump should have left it alone and bring it out closer to the elections. You don't need an investigation to convince me that Hunter Biden is on a Ukraine board because Joe Biden was VP.

Ok, then I can only conclude you're no more honest that Amod. You're playing the Amod diversion game. If both of you are focused on Hunter when Joe is 100% guilty of exactly what they've accused Trump of, then it's not worth my time to engage. This entire investigation was kicked off on that claim and both of you just ignore it LOL.

I honestly didn't think you were as bad as him... but not sure now.

Do you think Trump was engaging in Quid Pro Quo? 

No more than anyone else. Are we a bunch of children in this country that thinks this Government just gives out aid without an understanding of something in return? It's absurd to think otherwise.

But if it's so bad... then Biden, ON VIDEO, is the worst example. And until you acknowledge that you're not having an honest conversation.

I'll have to look for the video. I'll also have to investigate when Hunter Biden started to work for the Ukraine company and what was Joe Biden's connection with Ukraine policies. I have no doubt that Hunter got the job because of Joe Biden. I don't know if Joe Biden withheld funds unless Hunter Biden got the job. If he did, that will be Quid Pro Quo. If he didn't it will mean that it happened even before it got to Quid Pro Quo. 

Okay, I saw the video you are talking about. That seems to me to be Quid Pro Quo. He wasn't going to release the money until the prosecutor got fired. He withheld the money until it happened. If Quid Pro Quo had a baby, it would be Joe Biden.

That's all I was saying. If Orange Man Bad, then Quid Pro Joe definitely did something wrong. Sometimes it's not what people talk about, it's what they never mention that matters too.

This is why I'm blocked around here. I mention things.

... and don't lose sight of the fact he boasted about calling Obama to find out, which means he knew.

Yep. I was thinking Quip Pro interms of asking something in exchange for his son Hunter Biden, but what he did is definitely Quid Pro in my understanding.

Now what Trump did in terms of Quid Pro to get the truth behind this incident may get him in trouble, not so much for what he did, but how he went about it.

It would be an injustice.

The CIA is running this whole thing. Anyone who can't see that at this point is probably watching CIA News.

That's true, but here is how I see it. When Trump was a candidate, there was rumors that he there was a tape of him in a hotel room with a Russian hooker peeing on him. Could you imagine if Obama, did a Quid Pro Quo on the Russian government to investigate Trump being peeed on to before funds are released? It would have had a bad effect on voters everytime they got a view of the video. Trump may have survived it, but it could have been damaging. That would have been some serious Quid Pro Quo.

There is a big difference between the Bidens and completely fabricated rumors.

I could imagine a lotta things... but with this we only need stick to the facts. Nobody in Ukraine is making the claims against Trump that this CIA run witchunt is. Can't lose sight of that.

But the Quid Pro Quo with Biden that I saw didn't implicate Hunter Biden. It sounded more like a Quid Pro Quo where you tell someone get rid of your nukes if you want our money. They claim the guy Biden wanted to be removed was corrupt. If he was a guy who refused to give Hunter Biden his job, I could see it different. I don't know the guys connection with Hunter Biden at this point.

I didn't say it did implicate him. I'm not obsessed with Hunter like so many of you seem to be. I'm speaking strictly about the claim against Trump. Biden is 100% guilty of what they accuse Trump of. Accusation for accusation, JOE looks worse than Trump here. I'm not gonna lose sight of that.

I saw the video of Joe and I agree it is Quid Pro Quo, but I have to be honest and say that I don't know the details of why it was important to get rid of that guy. I don't know how it would have benefitted Joe Biden. 

Lol like the details mattered when Schiff was acting as Godfather and reading words Trump did not say?

Doesn't have anything to do with benefitting Biden. If you listen carefully to his words, he was there on behalf of Obama. All of that should be investigated if they're gonna make shit up about Trump.

Yeah, I get that, but what was it about the guy that they needed to get rid of him? It reminds me in a way of the Venezuela crisis where we won't do business or grant aid to them unless the leader of the country stepped down and allow the opposition leader who lost the election become the leader. I guess there are good Quid Pro Quo and there are bad Quid Pro Quo.

Do you not understand that Quid Pro Quo has been the status quo with this Government for years? And that there is no question whatsoever that some of those deals have basically amounted to blackmail? You're looking at the peanuts the elephant is eating rather than the fact there is an elephant in the room. Seems to me.. 

Not saying it's right or wrong... but it's the norm.

Yep. I understand that. I think why Trump is in the spotlight is because they are going to use what he tried to do as the reason for Biden's failing election bid. Which should have been obvious to people that there is no way Hunter Biden should be on any foreign company's board with his qualifications and realize that the only reason he was there is because his father is Joe Biden. 

They're all crooks and their crimes far surpass anything the people ever discuss. That much I am certain of.

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