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OSL - Triumphant Team Pokey Contenders for a Top Four Place?

Controversial Content
Added: Thursday, February 13th 2020 at 5:02pm by Oakie2012

Team Pokey 3  Pokey Ffrwchnedd United 1

Results today, and, after a largely shitty season, Team Pokey FC Llandudno have seemingly turned a rather annoying corner. For most of the season they have been mentioned as potential relegation candidates, but recent form has put a very different face upon things. Not least a stunning away victory over Oakie United, who had won six of their previous seven games.

In that game United took the lead and TP had a player sent off just before half time. But Gareth Bale scored his first goal for the away team with a mighty free-kick, and substitute Luca Valli drilled in the winner moments before the end of the game. And it seems likely that Bale will be at Team Pokey next season as well. Which is good as he seems to have more and more of an impact each time he plays for them.

However, this derby match against PFU might well have proved tiresome. They were only a place below TP in tenth and they won 2-1 at third place Scarlett Monsters previously, so they were not to be underrated. 

The game started badly for the home side. Striker Adam Thorne may well have scored a goal rated as the third best in OSL history last season, but he can also be completely bloody useless. And today he was completely bloody useless. The boy is light weight so loses possession too cheaply too often. But he's already signed for Pokey City for next season as manager Pokey has made it clear that he is looking for a striker who can actually strike.

But with Hermann Guggle failing to score since he joined the Yellows from Dortmund and Chrissy James out injured, there was little choice but to include Thorne along side Neo Rasberry. That's the Neo Rasberry who has lost all his confidence for the last three seasons. And Pokey has said that Neo can have the move he wants to link up with his dad Leon at Pokey Athletic "With all my fucking blessing!" provided the manager can import a replacement.

Fortunately for Team Pokey, Neo Raspberry was badly injured after 15 minutes of the PFU game, so strategic reserve Luca Valli was brought on to replace him. Of course Valli is still world class, but not fully fit, and was thus to be used sparingly.

He sparingly scored all three goals for the Pokeritos!

First up, a spot kick after Bale had gone on a mazy dribble into the United box. Emphatically despatched into the roof of the net.

Second up, another marvelous Team Pokey goal! With two opponents "up his arse" so to speak, he lacked any space, yet deftly brought a whipped in cross under control with his left foot before magically volleying the ball in off the PFU bar with his right foot, so athletically!

Wallop! Luca Valli belts a terrific shot in off the PFU bar

Team Pokey had dominated throughout, but PFU were still always in the game, and former TP legend, Eddie Hart, was in great form for them. Such was the respect that Team Pokey fans had for this man that he was cheered by them every time he touched the ball. A nice touch of respect from fans who are often touted in the media as being thugish and Welsh.

But there was nothing to worry about in the end. Luca Valli broke away and had a one-on-one with the PFU keeper Godley, and he drove the ball powerfully past the hapless goalie to win the match and become the first ever Team Pokey substitute to score a hattrick in a game. 


Normally so passionate/angry, Pokey Banana politely applauds the composed Valli finish that made it  3-1

Another interesting aspect to the game. Luca's youngest brother Mauro came on as sub for PFU, and had some nice moments. Mauro is on loan from Team Pokey where he came through the youth system. Sadly, Mauro will be the last Valli at the PC Stadium as Luca's three other brothers are classical musicians. Luca Snr and Gianchetta Valli, the lad's parents, are truly proud of their football sons. Less so of their other offspring as footy is way more important in Italy than stuff like Il Divo.

"Putta datta violina downa and getta proppa jobba lika your two brothersa!"

Team Pokey have provisonally agreed with Oakie Forest the transfer of 18 goal Kevin Anderson to North Wales next season. Anderson is 28 but is at his peak and could be an excellent short term solution to the Yellow's scoring problems. He recently scored twice against the PC Stadium outfit and has impressed throughout his first season in the top division. 


Table after 26 Games (Top 10/16)

60 Mavericks Wave

51 Herbs Hotspur

45 Scarlett Monsters

44 Cass Corinthians

41 Oakie United

39 Turmoil Rangers

39 Mystical Dragons

38 Deutsher Soz

37 Team Pokey

32 Oakie FC

User Comments

We keep the bragging rights in north Wales.  Although our illustrious history means we always have bragging rights.

After the game both sets of fans joined forces to sing anti-Oak songs.  'Oak is a twat' was my personal favourite.  Lovely chorus.

My goal at the start of the season was to avoid losing every match and absolutely achieved that.

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