OK, Lets Have Some Fun....

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CharlieAdams

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This is just visual confirmation of a test I am running. - bobski

Added: Monday, May 21st 2012 at 11:22am by CharlieAdams

Category: Arts & Entertainment > Humor > Funny Stuff

Theres so much stuff to be pissed off about in the world these days, lets just have a little fun so we can start the week out with a laugh...

The Old Cowboy...

Cowboy: Give me 3 packets of condoms, please.

Cashier: Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?

Cowboy: Nah.... She ain't that ugly!!

The Old Golfer...

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a retired golfer in his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blond in her mid-twenties.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history

Here's your equipment --chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first? The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage.

The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About halfway there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.

The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's jaw is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the retired golfer and asks, "Can you top that?"

The tough old golfer replies, "No problem, just get that lion out of there."

Thoughts on Marriage...

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
Or get married and wish you were dead.

__________

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'

____________

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'
__________

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
__________

A woman is incomplete until she is married.

Then she is finished.

__________

A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
__________

A young son asked,
'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'
__________

Then there was a woman who said,
'I never knew what real happiness was until

I got married, and by then, it was too late.'
__________

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
__________

A second marriage is the victory of hope over experience.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
__________________

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
__________

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
__________

A Woman's Prayer

Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for patience for his moods, because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death'
__________

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.'

The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut up.'