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Its been far too long to keep holding on to those memoires....
I don't know why but im thinking about my past alot lately, especially my childhood. I was one of those kids who got bullied alot but the bullies were always my friends and me being a happy-go-lucky person i kept saying its going to get better. But one day (yea i never forgot that day) they basically told me get away from their lunch table. I sat alone for the first time and bawled my eyes out, i still cry thinking about it actually. Then i moved to another school same thing happened, except my friend left me to be with the more popular kids she said i was messing up her chance. Ever since then i never been able to really open up to people i keep things bottled in. Its painful, I look at what i used to be and feel nostalgic. I want to be that girl i used to be. Now im all quiet and to myself and put up this barrier, but its breaking. There is still alot more to break through but i can look at myself and say i can see my true self instead of the acts i put up to keep people fromseeing the true me. I guess you can call this soul searching, something i kind of need ^_^ you have idea how happy i am righ now venting this!~ Now i can go to my first year in highschool feeling refreshed and not really giving a damn. I just wanna enjoy myself without the misjudgement and hatred. I can truly say i forgive those people who bullied me because if i didnt how would i be able to enjoy my life.???
- Victoria
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same kind of thing happened to me at school aswell. People can be cruel at schol because it's all a race to see who can be the most popular... almost like some kind of race for survival. I found out a bunch of boys were planning to push me in the river so that was a massive blow. Still gets me down every now and again. |
You are so on the right way. Don't let other define you, and don't waste your time trying to change other people. You can only change yourself, but when you do that, it´s amazing how others starts to respond differently to you.
It's so cool you choose to forgive the bullies, cause there is so much power in forgiveness. If you don't forgive it will eat you up, and all the anger and sadness you will carry with you is keeping you from being the happy smiling girl you are supposed to be...
So keep on this soul searching and good luck in highschool - I´m sure you will have the best time ever...